Just like chocolate and peanut butter or pugs and beagles, this Crying Dawson plus First World Problems meme mashup is a perfect combination. After all, would would Dawson cry about if not things like forgetting to bring his cell phone into the bathroom or the TV volume not being loud enough to hear over crunchy chips. More
Garfield Minus Garfield is Dan Walsh‘s brilliant webcomic that characterizes Jon Arbuckle as a lonely and depressed suburban guy through the simple act of digitally removing Garfield from the comic strips. With GMG in mind, we got to thinking about Mr. Popper’s Penguins, the upcoming Jim Carrey adaptation about a man who inherits a bunch of goofy Antarctic birds. What if the penguins were never really there? Is Mr. Popper simply a man struggling against schizophrenic delusions? Are his bizarre acts are completely unjustifiable without the existence of a flock of wacky ‘guins? Hollywood, we assume our check is in the mail. More
Even though here at Crushable we cover actors more often than directors, would you be surprised to learn that you could sum up most actors’ screen careers as merely “meh”? Using Rotten Tomatoes’ film ratings, Slate compiled several graphs comparing Hollywood career trajectories for, you guessed it, the average actor and director.
While directors receive higher acclaim as they make more and more movies — honing their skills and really getting to the heart of the stories they want to tell, presumably — actors seem doomed to forever hover around the 50% rating no matter how many movies they star in. More
If a female celebrity gains a little weight, eats a sandwich, or wears a dress that isn’t snug in the waist, it’ll take about ten minutes for a tabloid to run a headline speculating that she’s pregnant, preferably with a handy red arrow pointing at her stomach. This handy flow chart will help you figure out whether a female celebrity is knocked up at any given time. More
My god, they’re right! Especially when it comes to the joke becoming self-referential or even getting lost. (Hint: It started with Portal.) Check out the whole long-winded journey down the road of humor, after the jump. More
This chart is very useful for deciding which animals make good pets. For example, adopting a firefly will just lead to heartbreak, but a hippopotamus will live for forty years! Also, um, I thought dogs lived forever… More
Ah, the periodic table: The bane of our high school existence with its confusing chemistry lessons, yet the perfect teaching aid for pop culture lessons. Not sure if your plot should hinge on an Artifact of Doom (Aod) or Ass Pull (Ass)? Deciding between a Creepy Child (Chi) or Virus (Vir) for your villain? No idea how the fans will take it? Consult this handy chart! Once you’ve decided on your story’s elements, you can match them a la chem lab into chemical structures like the ones illustrated above. More
Imagine that you’re a hipster who’s just graduated college. Scratch that; maybe you ARE a hipster who’s just graduated college. No doubt you are now faced with that all-important question: Where should you live now? Detroit for street cred and something vague about hopeful post-apocalyptic urban gardening? Brooklyn to talk shit about Park Slope and Williamsburg while feeling guilty about your own contributions to gentrification? There are just so many options! More
Graduating from college is awesome – until you realize that you have absolutely no idea what comes next. A job? Grad school? Taking a year off to travel? Well, now you can apply Harry Potter‘s sorting-hat technology to your postgrad future. Just hope you don’t get assigned to Hufflepuff. More
Drawing from such classic procedurals as Law & Order, CSI, NCIS, and Murder, She Wrote, Alex Leo came up with this handy guide to guessing who the perp is in the first twenty minutes. Start with one of the middle four questions.
You know which show fits this perfectly? Bones! Every time I recognize an actor — and thanks to my childhood spent reading Entertainment Weekly, I recognize a lot of actors — I know that s/he did it. Every time… More
I spy, with my little eye, Meg Ryan faking an orgasm at Katz’s… Big presenting Carrie with her beloved shoe on the UES… The Green Goblin dangling Mary Jane over Roosevelt Island… The Fame kids dancing around Central Park… The Cloverfield monster terrorizing the Village… Buddy the Elf striking a pose near the Empire State Building… Audrey Hepburn peering into the Tiffany’s window… and so much more. (Click to expand.) More
Remember xkcd‘s guide to making people of different ages feel old by comparing movie release dates? The Daily What posted a similar hand-drawn timeline, for the Internet.
I started seriously going online right around 2000, though I definitely remember when Google replaced Yahoo! as the definite search engine in my elementary school computer classes. But to think that 4chan and Second Life came out in the same year? Or that Pandora has been around since before the Apple App Store? Blows your mind. More
A phrase that is often negative, but used here can be nothing but a positive step forward: “A sign of the times.” More