Topic: Justin Bieber

‘Justin Bieber Abandons His Monkey’ Is Not Something I Expected To Write Today

'Justin Bieber Abandons His Monkey' Is Not Something I Expected To Write Today

As of right now, Justin Bieber has until midnight tonight to reclaim his monkey Mally, or else she becomes the responsibility of German authorities. Yes, because that’s the best way to make an impression on an irresponsible tiny millionaire — “Either you take care of this monkey or we’re gonna take care of it for you so you don’t have to worry about it anymore!” More »

WTF:In Tragically Ignorant News, Justin Bieber Assumes Anne Frank Would Have Been ‘A Belieber’?

WTF:In Tragically Ignorant News, Justin Bieber Assumes Anne Frank Would Have Been 'A Belieber'?

Sweet Jesus, can someone give Justin Bieber the Cliff’s Notes version of World War II?  Apparently the Biebs also doesn’t know The Diary of Anne Frank wasn’t the diary of a typical ’40s tween.  Hell, I’m not even sure he knows exactly who Anne Frank was even though he just toured the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam this weekend. More »

Justin Bieber Stripped In A Polish Airport Because He Is Totally Mentally Stable

Justin Bieber Stripped In A Polish Airport Because He Is Totally Mentally Stable

You’re right, Beliebers, I’m sorry — Justin Bieber is totally fine. I was really off base when I said he was beginning a downward spiral, and I should be ashamed of myself for taking journalistic liberties with the blatant truth I see in front of my eyeballs. But now I’m getting my comeuppance, because Justin did something totally normal — something that could never be interpreted as anything but rational, responsible, intelligent adult behavior: he stripped down at the airport. More »