Topic: Zayn Malik

‘Harry Styles Is A Bonking Machine,’ And It Must Be True Because A Real Politician Said It

Ed Miliband, Leader of Britain’s Labour Party, is a One Direction fan, and Harry Styles is his favorite member. More »

One Direction Fans Force Liam Payne To Break-Up With His Girlfriend So He Can Date One Of Them

There’s nothing more frightening in the entire world than a One Direction fan. Between their determination and their devotion, I have no doubt that they could kill you if provoked. Maybe even unprovoked. More »

This Alleged Audio Of Zayn Malik Getting Girls For Him And Harry Styles Sounds Like The Unsexiest Booty Call Ever

Listen to this phone call and tell us if you think that’s Zayn Malik propositioning some female company for himself and Harry Styles. (And yes, we’re convinced that Harry gets other 1D members to orchestrate his hook-ups.) More »

New One Direction Video For ‘Live While You’re Young’ Will Change Your Life, Maybe Even Your Destiny

In news so exciting that I just legally changed my name to Niall Horan, the new One Direction music video for “Live While You’re Young” is finally here. More »

Every Time You Watch One Direction Perform At The 2012 VMAs, A Girl Goes Through Puberty

The men of One Direction continue to redefine modern music with every single performance they do. Tonight’s rendition of “One Thing” at the 2012 VMAs was no exception. More »

One Direction Releases Puzzling Cover Art For Their Second Album Take Me Home

OMG IT’S HERE! And it’s…a little confusing. More »

Every Single Member Of One Direction Will Have Celebration Sex Tonight

In fabulous news for Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik and Liam Payne, their new song “Live While We’re Young” just broke records for the fastest selling single in pre-order history. Yep, let that sink in. More »

Zayn Malik Should’ve Asked Harry Styles For Advice On Dealing With Haters Before Deleting His Twitter

After all the rumors of him cheating on girlfriend Perrie Edwards and smoking weed, One Direction‘s Zayn Malik couldn’t take it anymore and deleted his Twitter account. Honestly, I thought Harry Styles would be the first one to quit Twitter. More »

Zayn Malik Is No Harry Styles Since He Failed To Get A Girl In A Relationship To Sleep With Him

Zayn Malik learned the hard way that just because fellow One Direction bandmate Harry Styles can convince married women to cheat on their husbands, doesn’t mean that he has that power too. More »

What We're Reading:

While One Direction Performed At The Olympic Closing Ceremonies, Harry Styles Seduced The Queen

We’re not surprised at the rumors leaking into the states that Harry Styles used his performance to seduce the Queen. That he locked eyes with her and wordlessly convinced her to remove her bra and wave it in the air. More »

The Boys Of One Direction Are So Modern That They Stalk A Girl’s Twitter Before Having Sex With Her

I just read a fascinating article about how the man-boy-toys of One Direction — Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik – figure out which girls to date. It’s #romantic, it’s #endearing and it makes me feel the need to switch my Twitter handle to @OneD4Lyfe69. More »

One Direction Fans Will Be The Death Of Louis Tomlinson… Or At Least Seriously Mess Up His Hearing

The next time you’re screaming at a concert and worried about a little sore throat, consider that your voice is a serious weapon that could make your pop idol actually go deaf. More »

The New One Direction Commercial Is So Inspirational That I Now Believe I Can Be A Teen Heartthrob

And to think that I woke up today believing it to be just another ordinary Monday. It’s unfathomable to even think about now that I’ve seen the new One Direction commercial for the upcoming season of the British version of The X-Factor. More »

If Tumblr Could Speak: An Honest Letter To One Direction On Their 2nd Birthday

Hello boys. It’s me, Tumblr. Your stalker. More »

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