Topic: Suri Cruise

What’s Tom Cruise’s $400,000/Year In Child Support Paying For?

What's Tom Cruise's $400,000/Year In Child Support Paying For?
450 Pairs Of Tiny Heels
10,000 Trips To The Ice Cream Shoppe
833 Gymnastics Lessons At Chelsea Piers
1,333 Stuffed Elephants
26 Tiny Lanvin Dresses

As more details emerge about the Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise divorce, it’s becoming increasingly clear that Katie is walking away with very little despite the fact that she bore Xenu‘s seed for Tom. Suri Cruise, however, is making out like a tiny, well dressed bandit what with all the cash she’ll be raking in. According to TMZ, Tom has been ordered to pay $400,000/year in child support, or $33,333/month, which should be enough to pay for…what, exactly? Here are some childhood necessities that Suri could use that money to buy each month. More »

Unfortunately For Parents, Katie & Tom Are Attending Suri Cruise’s First Day Of School

Unfortunately For Parents, Katie & Tom Are Attending Suri Cruise�s First Day Of School

Little Suri Cruise is heading to her first day school at Avenues: The World School in New York City in a few weeks. But don’t expect to see only paparazzo images of mommy Katie Holmes getting chummy at drop off. Word has it that the father of three, Tom Cruise, will absolutely being accompanied his little girl to that classroom, along with the freshly divorced Ms. Holmes. This means that the first day of school at that newly opened private institution is about to reach new levels of crazy.
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Just Like Mission Impossible, The Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Custody Battle Will Have Unnecessary Sequels

Just Like Mission Impossible, The Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Custody Battle Will Have Unnecessary Sequels

In exciting news from anonymous sources, Tom Cruise plans on asking for custody of his daugther Suri Cruise once his filming schedule clears up. That’s right! Just when you started worrying that Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise and married the mayor of Boringsville, USA, we get news that America’s most brainwashed family will be back in the headlines. More »

Of All The Disney Princesses In The World, Suri Cruise Chose To Dress Like The One Who Felt Trapped By Her Father. Interesting.

Of All The Disney Princesses In The World, Suri Cruise Chose To Dress Like The One Who Felt Trapped By Her Father. Interesting.

Gather round amateur child psychologists and join me as I try to decipher the meaning of Suri Cruise dressing like Princess Ariel on a recent trip to Disney World with her father Tom Cruise. Twitter hot shot @AlexFeoli snapped this photo of the two walking around Disney World. All casual like. As if they aren’t 2/3 of the world’s most broken family right now. More »

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