Topic: SeaCaptains.com

I was home for part of this week in Delaware, celebrating my grandmother’s 90th birthday and helping my mom out with her online dating profile. She was way too timid in approaching guys online, so she agreed to let me take over her account and start negging them. It was so much Catfish fun! My responses ranged from telling a guy we were top-hat fetishists to messaging one dude and saying “I also share an interest in not doing laundry, but I’ve only been dabbling. Looking to meet the right person who is interested in taking it to the next level. By the way, have you seen that show Hoarders? Just asking.”

Anyway: Mom, I think it’s time you cancel your J-Date subscription. I’ve found the perfect site for you. More »