Topic: Ronnie

‘Jersey Shore’: Is Ronnie’s Steroid Abuse The 200-Pound Juiced-Up Gorilla In The Room?

In case there was any lingering doubt about Ronnie from Jersey Shore‘s steroid abuse, last night’s “explosive” episode destroyed all speculation. Destroyed it almost as quickly as Ronnie destroyed his and Sammi‘s room, smashing every piece furniture to pulp, throwing her bed out the window, and only halfway breaking her glasses. Sammi’s glasses, y’all! What did she ever do to deserve this? She’s had enough, and she means it this time! Bye-bye Sammi! But let’s back up a bit first… More »

Lessons From ‘Jersey Shore’: Steroids, Not Alcohol, Will Make Your Butt Bleed

And…now we’ve gone there. Jersey Shore devoted part of its episode last night to the footage of Ronnie getting an extended proctology exam after his butt started bleeding.

“Why is Ronnie’s ass bleeding? I don’t know!” says Sammi. (Don’t worry Sammi, no one expects you to know.) More »

‘Ocean Salty From Whale Sperm’ And Jersey Shore’s Top 10 Best Quotes

On last night’s episode of Jersey Shore, our pint-sized quote machine Snooki told audiences all over the world that she wouldn’t go into the ocean because it was salty from all the whale sperm. What? Don’t believe her? Google it.No really, she’s asking you to Google it. So we did. Apparently Snooki gets all her info from Urbanlegends.com, the top hit for “Whale Sperm Ocean.”

This is definitely Snooki’s watershed “chicken or fish of the sea” moment, and she’ll be joining Jessica Simpson in the Hall Of Fame For People Who Are Dumb About The Ocean. But are we ready to give her the prize for the dumbest thing ever said on Jersey Shore? Lets take a look at some of the other priceless quotes from the past three seasons before deciding. More »

Video: Snooki’s Impersonation of ‘Jersey Shore’ Castmate Sammi

So far on this season of Jersey Shore, Sammi Giancola has been something of a heel. Between her incessant fights with on again off again boyfriend Ronnie Magro and her blatant baiting of the other women in the house, it seems like she’s trying to be a villain. And as we’ve previously noted, she has perfected the art of th e sour face.

That is just one of the reasons we love this video of Shore castmate Snooki doing a Sammi impersonation. More »

Bad Newz Bearz: A ‘Jersey Shore’ Reenactment

The Bad Newz Bears are as obsessed with Jersey Shore‘s most depressing couple as we are! They’ve taken time out of their busy schedule of bickering about Demi Lovato to make a highlight reel from the “best” Sammi and Ronnie‘s fights of the past 3 seasons. Enjoy? More »

The Many Terrible Faces Of Sammi From ‘Jersey Shore’

Was the title of last night’s Jersey Shore ironic? As the second episode of the 3rd season, “It’s Going To Be An Interesting Summer” could have been an appropriate name if anything, literally anything had happened on the episode. More »

Video: ‘Hipster Shore’ Is Offensive To Hipsters!

Haha, just kidding guys, hipsters should all be rounded up and put into camps. Like summer camps! But only for other self-aware hipsters who deny their hipsterdom as part of their inherent hipness. Man, and here we thought no one could get worse than Ronnie and Sammi. Welcome to Hipster Shore! More »

The Terrible Homes Of The ‘Jersey Shore : Season 3′ Cast

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Last night we saw the premiere of the 3rd season of Jersey Shore, which is great because I for one really missed Snooki, JWOWW, The Situation, Pauly D., Vinny, Sam and Ronnie in the three months since we ended last season of this show. Where have these guys gone? They’ve really fallen off our radar! More »

‘Jersey Shore’ Cliff Notes: You Say Goodbye, I Say Crocodillies Yo

Confession: My boyfriend’s Tivo did not record the finale of Jersey Shore last night. I demand a refund for this TV that is not mine! To be fair, I could have got up early and watched the whole finale of … More »

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Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2×12: Burning Down the House

Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2x12: Burning Down the House

We knew this day would come eventually: the day that’s been foreshadowed on Jersey Shore since the first season, when the boys almost blew up the house when they put lighter fluid on a gas grill. Or when every dinner scene ended with something on fire or being accidentally toppled over…we knew that this was all leading somewhere. And last night on the penultimate episode of the Miami season, viewers got their wish. The kids of Jersey Shore all got caught in a terrible fire started by Mike‘s dinner and died of smoke inhalation. (Editor’s note: No, they didn’t.) More »

Jersey Shore Cliff Notes: 4 Steps Back For Feminism

Uh…is it just us, or has this show started bordering the territory of deep, deep misogyny. No, don’t laugh, we always knew that these self-proclaimed guidos don’t really consider women more than sexual objects, but lately it seems to have gotten much, much worse. Consider Angelina for example: She’s such a whore for hooking up with her mortal enemy, Vinny, when she was kind of, sort of talking to a guy who bought her a Fossil watch? Please. I don’t like Angelina as much as the next trash-hater, but why isn’t Vinny being held accountable for any of this? Why is it Angelina who is the gross hypocrite, when Vinny has proven time and time again to be a little snitchy weasel who also hooked up with his foe? More »

The Jersey Shore Boys Get a Makeover – Sort of…we can’t really tell the difference between the “before” and “after” shots. (via GQ)

VMA Drama: Sammi Won’t Talk to Us!

(When we got press credentials to the VMAs this year, we sent TheGloss’ Jessica Ogilvie out to cover the red carpet. This is her story, as originally reprinted on our sister site.)

As some of you may know, yesterday I got to be up close and personal at the VMAs, among the people with whom I have spent many an intimate evening at home. In fact, I got to talk not only to some of my favorite reality TV stars, but some of their publicists as well. More »

Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2.6: Ignoring the Tranny in the Room

As a culture, have we reached our level of satiation with the cast of the Jersey Shore? And if so, what can MTV’s producers do to bring back our waning interest? In this chapter we’ll discuss:
• The glossing over of the absurd
“Shalom!” exclaims Snooki, while she and the girls down their drinks in giant sombreros. More »

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