You know the story. A girl is friends with a guy she really likes. They get along so well, and love the same things: B-horror movies, unlikely animal friendships (that tortoise and that hippo!) and, of course, other men. Thatâs right: sometimes the man of a womanâs dreams is also seeking the man of his. So what should a girl go when she finds herself completely in love her gay friend? Well, luckily for y’all I have approximately 18 years of advice to help with this exactly subject! More
Topic: Romancing The Bone
Any woman with access to a TV and an active imagination has had at least one fever dream about the show I Didnât Know I Was Pregnant. If they havenât, let me correct that oversight: the show is about womenâŠwho didnât know they were pregnantâŠuntil a baby started to come out of them. While there are certainly women who could potentially overlook a nine month pregnancy (apparently enough to make an entire series about it), Iâve found that the opposite is much more likely: women who think theyâre pregnant All. The. Time. I was one of those women for the first, oh, three years after becoming sexually active; in addition to talking about it non-stop, my like-minded friends and I actually started a blog named Probably Pregnant to deal with our constant anxiety about our potentially baby-making wombs. This article is for those ladies who live in perpetual certainty that their nausea must be morning sickness or their light period is merely a disguise for implantation bleeding (do not Google that phrase), and with some tips on how to deal. More
Weâve all been there. Itâs pretty early in the relationship. Our boyfriend or girlfriend has an early class and leaves us blissfully sleeping in their roomâŠuntil we sit bolt upright, realizing the treasure trove of information lurking in their waiting laptop, their old diaries, and their internet browsing history. Itâs in times like these where a woman must ask herself: To snoop, or not to snoop: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer/ The slings and arrows of outrageous snoopage,/Or to take arms against a sea of suspected secrets,/ And by opposing end a relationship? More
Iâve got pubes on the brain recently (though hopefully not literally; theyâd probably name the condition after me), due to a disheartening recent trip to buy razors. Have you ever compared the price of razors/waxing to actual food or amenities, because damn. Venus has got us by the collective lady balls here, people! If my attitude towards the subject isnât readily apparently from my hearty endorsement of hippie shit like period sex, et al, then let me hype the comfort and soothing texture of an intact muff. If we could all walk around pantless with our giant bush hanging out for all the world to see, well, it would be a sight for sore eyes as far as Iâm concerned. Also, we would be very, very cold. More
So today is Valentineâs Day today (as weâve been constantly reminded since January 2). If a girl is boyfriend-less on this most sacred of days, pop culture offers her few options. She can either 1) drink a bottle of pink Andre and weep into a heart-shaped box of chocolates alone in her room or 2) do the above activities with her equally single girlfriends after getting dressed up and spending an emotionally devastating night at a sports bar.
SCREW THAT NOISE. Valentineâs Day doesnât own us; we own it. Just because a women hasnât chained her genitals to one person for the foreseeable future doesnât mean she should be dragged through the emotional dirt every time she sees a commercial for those heart-shaped Dunkinâ Donuts (which are so cute, right?). So for every woman who finds herself single today, here are some tips on how to survive VD with your mind, and your tear ducts, intact: More
In the world of young females, it is a truth almost universally acknowledged that female friends typically tend to be 1) the bomb and 2) the people a girl spends 95% of her time with. However, when it comes to meeting guys, sometimes a ladyâs friends can act as an obstacle to enticing males with you personal brand of effortless mojo. In fact, even friends of the highest caliber can accidentally cock-block your game. So in short, if a woman wants to get a date, she should dump all their friends.
Iâm kidding! Iâm kidding times one billion. I do, however, suggest that girls need to step away from the comfort of their funny, awesome friends to really make it in the word of dating. How might she do that? Why, I am so glad you asked.
As if sex wasnât already physically and mentally complicated enough, hereâs another twist: once a month women find themselves dealing with cramps, fatigue and, most annoyingly, a steady flow of super-stain-causing liquid flowing out of us like the mighty Mississippi. Seriously, we might as well have blueberry juice coming out of there, based on how many pairs of pajama pants Iâve had to toss out.
The great mystery of our lady times, however, is that while some of us can’t wait to curl up under a pile of Motrin bottles and Almond Joy wrappers and sleep for one thousand years during that time, some ladies hit their peek horniness while riding on the cotton pony. Which begs the question: is sexing on your period worth it? The answer comes down to a girl’s willingness to put in a little elbow grease and pre-sex prep…or how badly she wants to get it on.
However, just because weâve all ruined untold pairs of cute undies that we just got at Target, that does not mean we have to ruin a night of hot boning with worries about our periods. To that end, were are some thoughts for any girl planning a night of passion and romance â and stain-free sheets. More
This column frequently deals with the embarrassing moments that arise in our collective, fumbling journey towards Sexy Times. What, really, could be more humiliating then farting during sex? Well, except for pooping during sex, which hopefully is not a huge problem for our readers. (If it is, girl, leave it in the comments!)
But at some point in her life, almost every woman will find herself having an awesome time with a man or woman she likes very much in bed. Without warning, from beneath the comforter, she will issue a depth charge of intense auditory and/or olfactory power, and there is no way to pretend that it was just the mattress springs squeaking, or a garbage barge floating nearby. That girl will pray for death, but death will not come. What will come instead, I hope, is the understanding that, to paraphrase the childrenâs book, everybody farts, especially during sex. More
Sometimes after a wonderful sex romp, things don’t go quite according to plan. Itâs been a great night. A girl finds herself sexing someone who is not herself, a momentous occasion to be sure. All seems right with the worldâŠuntil … More
As girls begin to explore the boner-filled wonderland that is Human Sexuality, they will eventually run into a discrepancy between our societyâs definition of what constitutes sex and the large variety of activities people watch on RedTube with the sound off. That is to say, many people do not consider oral sex to be ârealâ or âactualâ sex. Not me though! As a result of this pervasive idea, many young women (and men) might invest in a pair of quality knee-pads, but would never dream of counting a mouth-lover as a full sexual partner. And thatâs an idea I take umbrage with! More
Itâs officially 2011, lady-pantses. And with it comes 12 brand-spanking-new months to fill with deep romantic connection, unknown sexual ecstasy, or a Cathy tear-away day calendar that really picks up the highlights in your catsâ pelt! In my honest opinion, girls should let their own balls drop in 2011, and here to stave off that last vestige of end-of-vacation-panic are my helpful New Year resolutions. So stick them on the mini-fridge for reference as I offer guidance to aid you through the next year of dating and boning. Or through the next two weeks, whichever seems more doable. More
Most women look forward to one day experiencing the terrifying, heart-melting force of passionate love that weâve all heard about on TV. In the meantime, however, plenty of girls are happy to roll around on a grotty futon with a … More
Itâs that time of year again! The season of lights, family and 6-hour-naps in the middle of the day. Yes, winter break also gives the greatest gift of all, free time, and with those spare hours many girlsâ minds turn to one of lifeâs most enduring questions: should I last minute break-up with my boyfriend before Christmas, or let him down easy after we get back to school? To which I say, âtis the season! More
Itâs painful, itâs awkward, and lots of ladies are doing it every day: telling someone theyâre dating that theyâre still a virgin. Whether theyâre waiting for marriage or just waiting until class gets out, laying the v-card on the table can feel downright humiliating, even though we know it shouldnât. With that awkwardness in mind, here are some suggestions from me for how girls can let potential sex friends know whatâs up with their downstairs.
1) Tell Them While Vertical (TTWM) More