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Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner over the weekend, but the wedding was called off under mysterious circumstances. What could possibly compete with marrying Vigara-soaked sleeze ball more than ten-trillion times your age? Hanging out with Heidi Montag in Vegas. We wonder what these two are talking about — quantum physics? More
Two booze-worthy things happened this week: 1) Natalie Portman’s baby was born, and 2) Crystal Harris called off her and Hugh Hefner’s wedding. After some thinking, I decided I couldn’t very well lampoon a four-day-old baby; besides, I think poor ol’ Hef needs a drink more than Centipede Millepied right now. Chin up, Hef! We’ll drink with you! More
Oops! Crystal Harris and Hugh Hefner may have called off their wedding, but it was too late for Playboy to reprint their July 2011 issue. The issue features Crystal wearing nothing but a bra and a sailor hat next to the headline “Introducing Mrs. Crystal Hefner.” Collectors, hold onto this one, because it’s going to be worth like ten bucks someday. More
Earlier today, we speculated on the reasons Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris‘ upcoming wedding had been called off, and it looks like we might have our answer. Was it Crystal’s decision? Did the woman finally come to her senses? Only time and probably a reality show will tell. More
Although White House party crasher and former Real Housewives of DC cast member Michaele Salahi had supposedly signed a deal to pose for Playboy, the magazine reportedly declined to publish the results of her photoshoot. Harsh! The magazine reportedly told Michaele “There is no opportunity this calendar year to offer you a cover opportunity or place for your pictorial.” More
Dancing with the Stars pro dancer Karina Smirnoff‘s Playboy cover looks remarkably like Cher’s video for “If I Could Turn Back Time.” More
Check out these Oscar nominees before they were famous. (Celebuzz)
Lindsay Lohan rejects plea deal for stolen necklace and probation violation charges. The plea deal would require jail time. (PopEater)
Controversial Teen Mom star, Amber Portwood, may be pregnant again. Well, this is just great. (RadarOnline) More
Kendra Wilkinson is having some trouble transitioning from wild Playboy bunnie to stay at home mom. Oh, because she made a lot of sex tapes. This time with ladies! (Radar)
Feel better kids. Even Madonna got rejection letters. (PerezHilton)
Is Jennifer Aniston adopting a baby from Mexico? Hmn. Sounds suspicious. (Jezebel)
Maci from Teen Mom was caught beer bonging. But she’s still doing better than Amber Portwood, so there’s that. (TMZ)
You know, this is some B.S. You can’t tell us that Hugh Hefner was rifling through old copies of Playboy and suddenly went, “Oh hey, the model from this terrifying, non-sensical clown shoot from the 90s looks a lot like that breasty chick from Mad Men.” More
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It was a busy week at Crushable, what with Sarah Palin tweeting about us, Sarah Robertson teaching us about burgling, and manic pixie dream girls taking over our brains.
And there were a lot of good commenters too. But I think the winning tweet goes to NancyRose. We were pretty convinced that Holly Madison getting upset with Hugh Hefner this week made no sense. But Nancy explained to us that Holly might actually be in love with that crazy pajama loving old guy: More
• Chloe Sevigny removes pants for Playboy interview. Also, she finally breaks her long-standing silence on what it’s like to blow Vincent Gallo on film. (Playboy)
• Best end-of-the-year listicle so far? 10 Hottest Vampires of 2010. (Betty Confidential)
• I Got The Fever: a new interracial dating guidebook. Yup. (The Gloss)
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Playboy TV (formerly the Playboy Channel, aka that thing one kid in middle school’s dad subscribed to, instantly making him the most popular eighth grader around) has started producing reality TV. Their new series is called Brooklyn Kind of Love and it looks terrible. (Regarding the title: It seems to refer to the kind of love where one cast member has tattoos and another is a lesbian. Perhaps they’re also Yankees fans?)
Question: Emphasizing something as “reality” programming just points out the inherent unreality of porn, right? Except in this case, the show takes the stereotype about women in pornography — that they just cannot get enough dick — and makes it the reality. Based on the trailer, Brooklyn appears to be a show about four oversexed women whose main ambition in life is to get laid as frequently as possible. But here’s the kicker, the reason why this show is even more detrimental than the standard porn fare: All of these sexually overzealous gals’ partners are fed up with the constant demand for fornication. The men (plus that one lesbian partner) are exhausted by their partners’ crazy need for sex. More
• Durex’s new XXL condom ad makes us wanna go Lorena Bobbitt whoever came up with that campaign. (Trendhunter)
• Ruh-roh! Add “boyfriend stealer” to the list of things that Lady Gaga might be (a man, an alien, etc.) (YourTango)
• Seth Rogen admitted to Conan O’Brien last night that he proposed to Lauren Miller while she was topless. (Celebuzz)
• Would you watch a porno based on Taylor Swift and Kanye West‘s feud? Hey, at least the plot will be good. (Hollywood Life)
• I don’t care what STD it can check for, I am NOT peeing on my phone! Can you imagine how awkward that would make first dates when he asks you to just give him a urine sample for his iPhone? (Lemondrop) More
• Looks like Melinda isn’t the only talked about Real World alum today: Dunbar Flinn from Real World: Sydney is getting a spread in Playboy! (BettyConfidential)
• Jessie Rosen doesn’t think Karen Owen is a hero for making that Duke sex list. Uh…was anyone claiming she was? (Lemondrop)
• Do not fall for these Facebook strategies guys use to look cooler than they are. (CollegeCandy)
• How much information can sperm hold? (Buzzfeed)
• Do open relationships ever work? Here are 9 famous couples that are trying it out. (The Frisky)
• We cannot believe there is Edith Wharton erotica. We guess rule #34 still applies. (The Gloss)
• Having tons of sex = healthy nails. Who knew? (YourTango) More
