• Oral sex now puts you at a higher risk for developing HPV-related neck and head cancer. Head cancer? Sure. Which is an awesome new excuse for us not to give you a blowjob. Thanks science! (US News)
• German brothels are now catering to the elderly. Wonderful, now I know what to get grandpa for his 80th. (Nerve)
• Women care more about text messaging than men. But that’s how else are we supposed to communicate with you when you’re watching the game? Right ladies? (Switched) More
Now that we all hate Betty White for being too famous, what adorable grandma can we parade around on variety programs for our amusement? There’s a poll going on over at Urlesque, but we can’t decide between Olympia Dukakis (she has a funny name) or Jackee Harry from Ladybugs.
Actually, we want to throw one more name into the ring: More
In honor of William Lashua, the veteran who made the internet smile, this week’s Cutegreggator is old people in party hats. If this doesn’t make you tear up, we don’t know what will.
Grandma Loves Lady Gaga – True story: One of our grandparents recently said they liked Crushable, but didn’t understand a lot of what we wrote about and wished “we had more news about Clark Gable.” Consider this video our attempt to meet you in the middle, Nana. (via Vulture)
The New Hipster Set: Your Grandparents – The latest trend piece claims the newest hep-cats on the scene on over 60, so if you like Betty White and the dad from the Sh*t My Dad Says Twitter, than you’ll love 74-year old DJ Ruth Flowers/Mami Rock. But is it all irony? When was the last time you heard a 20-something say “My Bubby is the shit?” (via L.A. Times)