Even though I have no experience with these films (or whatever toy/cartoon/Tolstoy novel/12-year-old boy’s drawing they were based on), I feel it’s my duty to provide a helpful guide to understanding them since the new one’s out. It’s my way of letting other non-fans know that they’re not alone in their ignorance, while causing fan-fans to despise me with every fiber of their Transformers-understanding being. More
Topic: Michael Bay
First of all, you should know that it’s very closely based on the true story of a bunch of bodybuilders in the ’90s who murdered Frank Griga and Krisztina Furton in an attempt to steal their lifestyle. Their plans went so horribly wrong that it’s almost funny to read about their stupidity. The keyword is almost because it’s a true story. The people murdered were once real people who lived among us. More
Not surprisingly, Black Sail is not a real prequel to Treasure Island. Director Michael Bay will make it all his own (read: bring in Victoria’s Secret models and plenty of gunpowder.) More
Matt Bomer‘s Glee character Cooper Anderson was such a hit that Fox posted this faux-audition tape where he tries out for Michael Bay‘s next Transformers film, complete with finger-pointing and a very convincing death. More
Chris O’Dowd goes all white knight on behalf of his This Is Forty co-star Megan Fox and says that it’s common knowledge that Transformers director Michael Bay is a jerk. But seeing as there’s no consequences to this sound bite, it’s not as impressive as it could be. More
While we’re on the subject of how to do things in movies, why don’t we take a moment to learn exactly how one makes an action movie? If you’ve ever dreamed of being Michael Bay– or maybe just dreamed of kicking him in the shins– now’s your chance. Let this chart teach you everything you need to know, then get out there and make some movie magic. You tiger. More
With Transformers: Dark of the Moon getting released about a week ago, one eagle-eyed Redditor posted this photo comparing the big naval scenes from two of Michael Bay‘s big movies: Pearl Harbor and the first Transformers. Except for subtracting or adjusting a few pieces of machinery for the 66 years between battles, Bay clearly used the same footage.
While some users are laughing and calling “busted!”, most of them can’t be bothered to care. More
Hear me out.
I’m probably the closest thing to a Megan Fox apologist: I’ll insist to anyone that she was one of the best things about Jennifer’s Body because of how she embodied the deadly teen queen but was still vulnerable and downright hilarious. Unfortunately, she’s received a ton of bad press lately, mostly for getting herself herself kicked off Transformers: Dark of the Moon after she complained about Michael Bay‘s dictatorial directing. Girlfriend, that is the smartest thing you could’ve done. More
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According to Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is better at being sexy than her Transformers predecessor Megan Fox. Translation: She was willing to submit to the brusque, sexist will of director Michael Bay without complaint. Indeed, he hired the Victoria’s Secret model, despite her lack of any acting experience, after he shot her in a titties-and-explosions-laden VS ad in 2009.
If you don’t believe us, then take a look at the body language in these photos of Huntington-Whiteley and Bay promoting the movie, aided by LaBeouf’s dissertation on the sexuality of women on the silver screen. More
Yesterday we were blown away by how many big-name Hollywood actors had hitched a ride on Michael Bay‘s trigger-happy Transformers: Dark of the Moon. And while it was fun to see Patrick Dempsey as Rosie Huntington-Whitely‘s rich, smarmy boss, the real delight was picking out the lesser-known, or simply unexpected, actors who popped up on both sides of the Autobot/Decepticon fight. More
I managed to miss the first two Transformers movies, which means that I’m catching up thanks to Wikipedia for tonight’s screening of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. With that lack of knowledge, I was confused as to why Linkin Park of all bands performed a concert in Moscow’s Red Square as part of the movie’s premiere. It turns out that Linkin Park has supplied the lead singles for the past two movies — “What I’ve Done” and “New Divide” — and are continuing their winning streak with “Iridescent.” More
•Tough break, Robert Pattinson– Penn Badgely just landed the coveted role of Jeff Buckley. (Lainey Gossip)
•After bombing Belgrade figuratively speaking, Amy Winehouse has reportedly cancelled her entire European tour. Some comebacks were just not to be. (Celeb Dirty Laundry)
•Yesterday was Prince William’s 29th birthday. Celebrate by watching this video of his cutest moments from childhood all the way up to marriage. (Popsugar)
•Did the Sad Keanu meme inspire Keanu Reeves to write a book called Ode to Happiness? (The Frisky)
•Word on the street is that Megan Fox was replaced in Transformers 3 because she bad-mouthed Michael Bay. Note to self: Things not to do include pissing off Michael Bay. (Betty Confidential)
Transformers 3 is about to come out, which means star Shia LaBeouf is scheduled to do some interviews. In a chat with the L.A. Times, he sticks his foot in his mouth so many times he’s probably still tasting day-old socks. When asked how new love interest Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stacks up against former love interest Megan Fox, Shia said a bunch of convoluted and kinda-sexist crap, like:
Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael [Bay, the film's director], who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women.