(Lost in Translation is our weekly column from a college guy’s perspective.)
What the hell does “be rougher” actually mean? I’m really up the creek without a paddle, or one of those Magnum condoms I might be able to blow up into a flotation device, in these rapids.
A few weeks ago, I was very aggressively stripping down, stumbling out of my brand new skinny jeans (I had shed a few pounds and thought they really complimented my slimmer figure), and tripped onto the bare chest of this girl that had those damn denim spandex fitting just a little too snug around my, well, waist. I continued to tear through that unintentional contraceptive, ripping an appropriately positioned hole in the crotch, before finally freeing myself of its suffocating grasp and standing there surveying all in front of me, flag flying high, ready to stake my claim in the newfound territory.
I proceeded to march in, all Lewis and Clarke in my swagger, when I hear the devastating whisper of, “not yet.” More »