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There’s nothing like a little Jelena confusion on a lazy Saturday, am I right? Like Miley’s engagement ring and Seinfeld reruns, sometimes they’re on, and sometimes they’re not. And sometimes pieces of paper (poster board?) representing them are placed one seat apart at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards. More
As of right now, Justin Bieber has until midnight tonight to reclaim his monkey Mally, or else she becomes the responsibility of German authorities. Yes, because that’s the best way to make an impression on an irresponsible tiny millionaire — “Either you take care of this monkey or we’re gonna take care of it for you so you don’t have to worry about it anymore!” More
Kids these days and the things they put on their bodies, am I right? It’s like they think they’re a sheet of notepaper and they just go ahead and doodle accordingly. Except these aren’t the endearing love notes or adorable sketches of my day, when we had to walk five miles in the snow, uphill both ways, just to check our emails and go on our Tweeters! No! More
After you break up with someone and then get back together with them and then break up a few more times and generally confuse the nation, the best place for you guys to be is on the same judging panel for a reality TV talent competition like American Idol, right? More
The long arm of the law is out to get Justin Bieber, just because he spit on a neighbor and threatened to kill him. No fair! More
While continuing on his global wait-what-am-I-reading-this-news-correctly tour, Justin Bieber got surprised-hugged on stage by an overenthusiastic fan while performing on stage in Dubai. Or attacked by an insane man. It’s not exactly clear yet what happened. More
It’s Cinco de Thirdo today, you guys! Aka the last workday before Cinco de Mayo, the traditional American holiday of drinking Coronas and annoying the waitstaff of your favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant! So with only two more days until that fateful morning (and only three more until that fateful hangover), it’s time to start planning your drankin’ schedule, and that can be a hard thing to finagle. More
There’s a strong chance he couldn’t define the word regret. Because if he could, I think he would’ve thought through this new Selena Gomez tattoo a little bit more. More
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez haven’t even confirmed their rumored reunion yet, and already I’m totally over this relationship. The two of them have been off and back on and then off again so many times that I’m starting to wish Justin had left me in Berlin with his monkey. More
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This story is still developing, so we don’t have all (or any) of the details confirmed yet, but TMZ is reporting that cops in Sweden found pot and a taser on Justin Bieber‘s tour bus last night. Oh shit son! More
According to rumors coming out of Copenhagen this morning, Justin Bieber threw a temper tantrum during an Elizabeth Arden photoshoot. In addition to this alleged tantrum, he apparently also threw his pacifier, his building blocks and a warm bottle of muscle milk into various corners of the room. More
If I said the words to you, “there’s a Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber mash-up out there in the world”, what would your first thought be? If you immediately got an image of an androgynous little baby with sick abs and an inexplicable bindi, then congratulations, you and I should be friends because our minds work the same. More
“I don’t know,” the singer allegedly told a friend who told a source who faxed an insidier who paged me, “it’s like, remember Furbies. At first they were like so much fun. Then they were like so hungry and so annoying. Well monkeys are like that, except you can’t take their batteries out. So yeah, if you know anyone who wants a monkey, hit me up.” More
If you skipped your morning coffee and were hoping that the 2013 Billboard Music Award nominations (or “finalists,” as they call them to confuse us) would wake you up with some surprise contenders, you should probably just make a Starbucks run, because this is the Sleepytime Tea of award shows. More
