Even though Snooki‘s son Lorenzo is only three months old, she’s already to pop out a second one. Even worse, the baby fever has spread to JWow because she says Snooki ‘makes it look easy’. Oh boy. What an excellent reason to procreate, ladies. More
Topic: Jionni Lavalle
I’d been wondering why Mike Sorrentino would ever break up with Paula Pickard, and last night’s episode of Jersey Shore finally gave me my answer. More
Eight simple rules for hosting a Jersey Shore-style Shore Shower that even Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi could be proud of. (Hint: don’t forget to invite your former smush-buddies.) More
Just when I thought I understood the world, Snooki goes and posts a picture of herself with no make up and her new baby, and I’m jealous of her life. More
I was worried, but it looks like everybody came through because Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi‘s new son Lorenzo Dominic with fiance Jionni LaValle was born this morning, and thus has a different birthday than me. More
Snooki has released the name of her baby, and it sounds even more like a porn name than I thought it would. More
Well in case you needed another bullet point to add to your “birth control should be legal and accessible” argument, Snooki might be pregnant. More
(By an anthropologist)
0:00 – Our specimens emerge hungover for the 11th time this week. Deena, Pauly and Ronnie head to the pizzeria for a day of work.
1:00 – Snooki wakes in her pink leopard-print (endangered species) dress from the night before and tries to track down her mate, Jionni, who abandoned her in a fit of rage.
2:00 – Snooki wants to talk to JWOWW, but JWOWW’s asleep. (Diagnosis: adaptive defense mechanism.) So Snooki puts on her furry boots (soon-to-be-extinct species, hopefully) and heads out alone. More
(By an anthropologist)
0:00 – We see our specimen Snooki in the aftermath of her car accident. The cops have arrived quickly because the cops were in the car she hit.
0:30 – The cops give Snooki a breathalyzer test. She passes. (Analysis: Her alcohol level was so high it broke the breathalyzer and reset it to zero.)
1:00 – The cops drag Snooki into their van. She reads herself her own version of the Miranda Rights, which goes: “This sucks.” More
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There are so many rumors coming from Italy about the upcoming season of Jersey Shore that I’m expecting either a colossal success or a humongous failure. Apparently, despite the fight between Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and The Situation and the fact that Ronnie is back on with Sammi Giancola, MTV’s producers still weren’t happy with the level of drama on the show.
What do you get when you combine Jersey Shore‘s Snooki with two of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New Jersey? A totally awesome holiday bash, d’uh! More