Topic: Jake Pavelka

Bachelor Pad Superlatives: All The Things Blake Should Have Kept

Bachelor Pad Superlatives: All The Things Blake Should Have Kept

Here were are, at the Bachelor Pad finale. ABC screwed us once again, by presenting us with 3 god-awful hours of television and I’m here to painstakingly keep track of every stupid comment, every time Kasey’s head got bright red, every time Jake gave us that phony smirk, every time they showed the zombie that lives inside Ella’s new face, and every time Michael pretended to be okay with Blake and Holly stomping on his heart on national TV. Bachelor Pad answers that age old question: What do you get when you put 18 people with really bland personalities in one house? Unfortunately, not a whole lot. More »

‘Bachelor Pad’ Superlatives: This Is Not For America

'Bachelor Pad' Superlatives: This Is Not For America

Somehow, the producers at ABC managed to edit this week’s amazing Bachelor Pad narrative down to two hours. And the second episode did not disappoint…generally everyone on the show acted like vapid, self centered idiots. In our ideal universe, each week it would get shorter and the last week would just be 2 minutes of the remaining contestants being eaten alive by bears. But until we rule the universe, we’ll have to stick with making fun of the candidates (superlative style). More »

Watch Jake Pavelka Awkwardly Make Small Talk with Ex Vienna Girardi’s Boyfriend on ‘Bachelor Pad 2′

Watch Jake Pavelka Awkwardly Make Small Talk with Ex Vienna Girardi's Boyfriend on 'Bachelor Pad 2'

As much as Vienna Girardi walking off the set of the Bachelor reunion with Jake Pavelka and Chris Hansen made for exciting TV, there’s something much more hilarious about the awkward encounter she had with Jake on last night’s premiere of Bachelor Pad 2. It’s the kind of thing you would see between any two exes: Jake introduces himself to the other guests while Vienna watches him warily. Then, when he gets to her, it’s both of them softly saying, “Hi.” Jake could have saved things if he’d just excused himself, but he rushed on with, “Good to see you. You look nice. And I met Kasey.” That would be Kasey Kahl, former Bachelorette contestant and Vienna’s new boyfriend. More »

How to Fix ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette’

How to Fix 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette'

If the most recent lackluster season of The Bachelor: Electric Brad Womack Boogaloo indicated anything, it’s that the show is overdue for a reboot. They’ve been able to generate some actual watercooler buzz (the Jason/Melissa/Molly triangle made for good tabloid fodder, as did the eventual Jason/Molly wedding), but the return of Brad Womack and his vanilla personality, plus the choice of also-ran Ashley as the new Bachelorette served as reminders of why the show needs to change it up. More »

Brad Womack is the next ‘Bachelor.’ Again.

Brad Womack is the next 'Bachelor.' Again.

The Bachelor is seriously running out of ideas. Last night, Brad Womack was announced as the next star of the show. For those of you Bachelor fans with short memories, Brad is the 27 year old bar owner who couldn’t be bothered to pick a winner from his season of the show. Is ABC even pretending it wants these things to end in relationships anymore? More »

Fake Chris Harrison Twitter Entertains Us, Dupes Jake Pavelka

Fake Chris Harrison Twitter Entertains Us, Dupes Jake Pavelka

Chris Harrison, who still believes that The Bachelor can produce long-lasting love, is – in dead seriousness – the best thing about the ABC franchise. Chris is not only a puppet of producers – forced to play dumb on things like, “Frank Neuschaefer has a secret girlfriend – whaaaa?” – but he is also a calming force of sanity within a manse full of sociopaths. He seems to sincerely care about each and every contestant, even as he secretly collabs with the show to stir the pot. See: Bachelor Pad! With that said, here’s a gift from the Twitter gods: Chris Harrison has a tweeter-impersonator who managed to trick ex-Bachelor Jake Pavelka into thinking the Fake Chris Harrison feed was REAL. More »