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You’re all familiar with Texts From Last Night, right? That hilarious and often uncomfortable website dedicated to preserving for all of time those embarrassing texts that probably wouldn’t have been sent were it not for the consumption of rather a lot of one or more substances? Good. Because they’re going to make a television show out of it, and I need your help figuring out how this is going to work. More
Like we told you yesterday, FOX has decided to visit the pilot episode of its sitcom New Girl upon the internet-going public early, making it available for free download via iTunes a full two weeks before it premieres on television. Despite knowing there was no way it was going to be any good at all, Liana and I decided to give it a chance and watch it. As they used to say on a show that was actually funny but got canceled to make room for more travesties like this, we’ve made a huge mistake. More
The other day, my friend called a woman “foxy,” like he was some kind of character in a Quentin Tarantino homage. I laughed at him heartily, but then I realized it isn’t really such a weird thing to say. Foxes are super attractive! Here are a bunch of baby ones. More
This week we learned that Lisa Edelstein, who plays Dr. Lisa Cuddy on Fox’s House, won’t be returning for the show’s eighth (and probably final) season. The big question, of course, is how House (Hugh Laurie) will function without his boss/ex-lover, and if Edelstein’s exit may have hastened along this season’s House/Cuddy breakup. More
Most movies adapted to TV shows don’t manage to stay on the air past a few years: Ferris Bueller, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, My Big Fat Greek Life. But Jared Hess, the writer-director of the 2004 sleeper hit Napoleon Dynamite, has hit upon a loophole for this rule: He’s reuniting the original cast but doing an animated series for Fox. You still get the world of the movie, but with different stories and a greater ability to tell them.
Then again, I wasn’t a big fan of Napoleon Dynamite, so this doesn’t look very funny to me. More
Here’s a preview for animated series Allen Gregory, which will be part of FOX’s new lineup next fall. The show’s about a super-smart and sophisticated elementary school student (Pinot Grigio for lunch, anyone?) looks pretty fantastic. Allen was co-created by Jonah Hill, and boasts a team of writers we know from there hilarious Twitters — dudes like Shawn Ries and Guy Endore-Kaiser. More
After a lengthy hiatus, Glee is back in action and ready for devastating amounts of evil. Demonic Sue calls a meeting of the demented minds in the middle of the night, time usually designated for Sylvester’s “bow-hunting for hobos.” Joining in the insidious coach of Vocal Adrenaline Dustin Goolsby (Cheyanne Jackson), disgraced glee coach Sandy Ryerson (Stephen Tobolowsky) and of course Terri Schuester, shrew. Sue dubs them Sargent Handsome, The Pink Dagger, Honeybadger respectively, before handing out their assignments designed to take down Will Schuester’s pride and joy. It goes without saying that Goolsy fails to ruin Schue’s current relationship and Sandy biffs the opportunity to ruin the glee kids’ performance. As for the Honeybadger? Ah, she lies in wait… More
Regionals are here! Just in time for the Glee kids to hastily write original songs for the competition! The song plunges in with an immediate Warblers rendition of “Misery,” then segues swiftly into Rachel emotes through “Only Child,” the single kid’s lament. “Damn you, dads!” she howls. Unfortunately for the only Berry on her family tree, Quinn sees her flirting with Finn and vows to never let Rachel stand in the way of her ultimate goal: prom queen. Oh, by the way, when exactly did Quinn get possessed by a demon? “How damaged does a guy have to be to be into someone as annoying as Rachel,” she snarls inside her mean girl brain, before describing herself as “relatively sane for a girl” and fondling what appears to be centuries of prom crowns. Prom queens live an average of five years longer, Quinn notes, probably because most of us lose a few years to vomiting over the statements like that. In an effort to sabotage any romantic inclinations Rachel still has by keeping a close eye on her (sure, why not), Quinn offers to write an original song with her. In turn, all the gleeks decide to write their own tune, and the premise if off and running! More
We hereby call to order The Celibacy Club! Rachel, Quinn and Emma meet in an empty classroom to confirm their commitment to not getting it, or as Ms. Pillsbury would put it, being “terrified of the hose monster.” When her chastity charms start being used as nipple rings, Emma runs into the physical manifestation of boning, i.e. Gwyneth Paltrow’s substitute teacher Holly Holiday, currently filling in for a heath teacher with a terrible case of the herp. Paltrow at her most winsome dismisses Emma’s concerns about helping sexualize children, opting instead to demonstrate condoms on cucs. This proves to be an essential lesson.
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The notion of an American Idol contestant singing Billie Holiday’s “God Bless The Child” sounds like a terrible idea. But somehow, a 23-year-old spa concierge from Compton, California made it work last night. Jacob Lusk took the stage during last night’s final Hollywood show of the season and got a standing ovation from the judges and all his fellow contestants. More
Did you need proof that Steven Tyler is the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol? Because he’s glad to provide it. Here’s the Aerosmith singer wearing a Hawaiian shirt and making bejeweled horns for the cameras. What else would he do with a camera in his face. Dear FOX producers. You are brilliant. More
Please do not confuse this video, which is from the special episode of Glee following the Super Bowl, with the performance that cast of Glee is going to be doing during the Super Bowl. More
Crush This is your weekly guide to what’s new in music, movies and television. This week we have a plethora of movies coming out in theaters, the revival of a talk show phenomenon, and a Harry Potter on The Simpsons. Did you think the world was tired of mocking Jay Leno? Think again. More
A week ago, James Wolk was on top of the world. He had a new show premiering on FOX (Lonestar) and a lead role in the Kristen Bell/Sigourney Weaver film You Again (in theaters last Friday). This week, things are a little different. Last night, FOX cancelled Lonestar. And as of right now, he isn’t cast in any future projects on IMDB. Was two weeks in primetime enough for casting agents to notice him? More
