Oh, Lindsay Lohan. What are we going to do with you? Your whole life is just one awkward moment after another. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were on an all-embarrassment diet. Except you probably don’t even feel embarrassed about your life, do you? Which is why we have to feel all that embarrassment for you. Thanks a lot, Linds! More
Topic: Dina Lohan
You might think growing up as a child star is responsible for turning her into such a mess, and that certainly must have contributed to it. But she also happens to have been created by a couple of monsters named Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan. More
Happy 37th birthday to Jon Gosselin. That’s right, Jon Gosselin was born on April Fool’s Day, which is really fitting since his entire existence is sort of an April Fool’s joke on humanity. I also want you to take a moment to realize that Jon is not even into his 40s yet, and he’s already accomplished so much as a terrible father. It really is inspiring. More
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You all should be ashamed of yourselves, driving Dina Lohan to drink. After all she’s been through, you couldn’t just let her have a quiet night at home. You had to hold her down, pry open her mouth, pour a monumental amount of Pinot Grigio down her throat, and put her behind the wheel of a car. Or at least that’s what her lawyer is alleging. More
What color is relief, anyway? Kind of a muted blue-green? Because that’s how I’m feeling ever since I found out that Lindsay Lohan‘s parents won’t be allowed anywhere near her talk show on OWN. More
Except for Dina Lohan‘s eyebrows, which have been permanently raised by Botox. Other than Dina, I don’t think anyone else is surprised by her blood alcohol level or probable denial that she was in the wrong. Including her recovering, recently rehabbed daughter Lindsay Lohan! More
We can all agree at this point that Dina Lohan is an excellent role model and parent, correct? I mean I know it was touch-and-go there for a while, but she just fell on her sword for Lindsay and got a DUI so her daughter didn’t have to! LiLo got to stay in for the night and focus on her recovery, but the Lohans still maintained their irresponsibility quota. How touching. More
I’m sure there are lots of us out there whose parents absolutely detest one another. What separates us from the animals, however (the animals in this situation being Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan) is that I doubt the majority of us have parents who insult each other through the blind rage of white-hot cocaine. More
When Lindsay Lohan finally gets all ten rehabs on her punch card and redeems it for her free sandwich, she’ll be heading away from California and back to New York City to be with her mom, Dina Lohan. What a lovely, totally responsible and entirely appropriate idea! I literally cannot think of a better place for Lindsay to live once she’s done cleansing herself of her inner party girl. In other news, today is Opposite Day. More
- The Most Heated Celebrity Feuds of All Time!
Ryan Gosling After Sex -- Yes, And He Admitted It!
- 10 Shocking Celeb Friends Who've Been BFFs Forever!
A Day In The Life Of Jay Z's Mistress -- No, Not Beyonce
- 6 Insane Incidents Where Paparazzi Put Celebs' Lives In Danger
Ah, the Lohans. When they’re not trying to break their daughter Lindsay Lohan out of rehab or making comments about their being in rehab or just generally using their daughter’s fame to make things all about them, they’re getting paid $50,000 to appear on a talk show together. You know, just all part of being a parent. More
Whenever I read a quote from Dina Lohan or Michael Lohan, I’m reminded that Lindsay Lohan never had a chance to grow into a mature adult. Her parents seem to still be struggling with that exact same process and they’re what the scientific community commonly refers to as middle-aged. More
Obviously this is Lindsay Lohan‘s world and we’re all just occupying it. That is really the only logical conclusion I can come to after this really confusing week full of emotional Lindsay turmoil, pre-rehab Chanel pit stops, rehab swapping, and hours contemplating the most accurate guesstimation for our Lindsay Lohan Rehab Pool. More
Obama’s quoted as saying, “this officially took the idea of the prank to a level that frankly, we’re not quite ready to deal as a country.” His aide chipped in, “this is why we can’t have nice things, like holidays where the banks are open!”
In case you were wondering what that pervasive taste of exploitation and regret was in the air this morning, Michael Lohan has had another baby. Yes that’s right, at age 52, the father of noted success Lindsay Lohan is trying his hand at a new impressionable infant, to see if he can outdo himself in the fatherhood department. More