Topic: Desiree Hartsock

Desiree Hartsock’s Brother Says She Totes Settled For Chris, And I’m Like, ‘Duh’

Desiree Hartsock's Brother Says She Totes Settled For Chris, And I'm Like, 'Duh'

Welcome back to the media, Nate Hartsock, bad boy brother of Desiree Hartsock! I’ve missed you terribly in the many months since you helped Sean Lowe decide to eliminate Des on the last season of The Bachelor, and the slightly less many months since you appeared on the storied ninth season of The Bachelorette to half-heartedly attempt to whip up some ratings. Do you have any inappropriate gossip for us? You do?? Great. More »

The 16 Most Heartbreaking Things On The Bachelorette Last Night

The 16 Most Heartbreaking Things On The Bachelorette Last Night

Okay, so last night on The Bachelorette finale part one was pretty intense, even for a cynic like me. They’ve been teasing all season that someone was gonna leave the show and break Desiree Hartsock‘s heart, but I always assumed that it was a ratings ploy and that both people would be in on it. After last night’s episode, though, I’m pretty sure that Des was caught completely off-guard. More »

The Bachelorette: 15 Unanswered Questions From The Men Tell All

The Bachelorette: 15 Unanswered Questions From The Men Tell All

Last night on The Bachelorette was the Men Tell All episode. On the one hand, it means we have to listen to two hours of these guys trying to vie for enough screen time to be the next Bachelor, but on the other hand, it means we’re one week closer to being done with Desiree Hartsock and her increasingly cloying behaviors and references to this whole thing being ‘a fairytale’. It’s the little things. More »

16 Reasons The Bachelorette Guys Should Never Meet Your Parents

16 Reasons The Bachelorette Guys Should Never Meet Your Parents

So I wanted to find a way to honor of these always-awkward trips home on The Bachelorette where peoples’ parents give them their blessings to marry total strangers, and the buzz-phrase of the day is “I’ve never felt this way before”. And what better way to celebrate all this wrong-ness being thrown at Desiree Hartsock than by making a list of why these particular guys should never ever be brought home to meet your parents? More »

The Bachelorette: The Tale Of James And The Crocodile Tears

The Bachelorette: The Tale Of James And The Crocodile Tears

Look guys, it’s me! I’m back again, and this week my disillusionment has spread from The Bachelorette, to reality television, to love itself. This is what you’re doing to me with your fairytale chatter week after week, Desiree Hartsock. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Last night Des had one job — send James home. Should she do it? Yes. Will she do it? That’s anyone’s guess.
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The Bachelorette Already Has A Villain, And It’s Ben

The Bachelorette Already Has A Villain, And It's Ben

Welcome back to a new episode of The Bachelorette, a show that’s getting so eerily close to its parody, Burning Love, that it’s honestly starting to make me uncomfortable.This week we got several new exciting additions to the typical reality show plot — the repeated phrase ‘here for the right reasons’ and the show villain, who will be played in this episodic arc by Ben, exploitative father of the year. More »

A Bachelorette Contestant Made A Bomb Threat, So That’s Fantabulous

A Bachelorette Contestant Made A Bomb Threat, So That's Fantabulous

You guys! YOU GUYS. The Bachelorette just barely started up again and already there’s drama — one of the current contestants was charged with making a bomb threat in 2005. Which, when you think about it, is probably the definition of being there for the wrong reasons. “Hi yeah, I’m just here to make a bomb threat.” “Sir, that is incorrect behavior and you will not be receiving a rose this evening.” More »

Jimmy Kimmel Predicting The Bachelorette Winner May Be More Entertaining Than The Show

Jimmy Kimmel Predicting The Bachelorette Winner May Be More Entertaining Than The Show

Jimmy Kimmel predicts the winner of this season of The Bachelorette as a man by the name of Brooks Forester. Desiree Hartsock never confirms or denies anything, so you can go nuts analyzing her responses and body language as much as you want, but I really just need to talk about this guy’s name for a second, while I have you here. Brooks. Forester. That is absurd. That’s the name of a kid born out of the blissful union of a sensible four-door sedan and an L.L. Bean catalogue. More »