Topic: Desiree Hartsock

Congratulations, Desiree, On Earning The Bachelorette Its Lowest Numbers Ever!

Let’s all give a big hip hip hooray for Desiree Hartsock, who’s really been pouring it out for her homies who couldn’t be here lately on The Bachelorette. I should mention that in this case the things that she’s been pouring out have been the ratings, and the homies who couldn’t be here are the viewers. Just to be clear. More »

The Bachelorette Already Has A Villain, And It’s Ben

Welcome back to a new episode of The Bachelorette, a show that’s getting so eerily close to its parody, Burning Love, that it’s honestly starting to make me uncomfortable.This week we got several new exciting additions to the typical reality show plot — the repeated phrase ‘here for the right reasons’ and the show villain, who will be played in this episodic arc by Ben, exploitative father of the year. More »

A Bachelorette Contestant Made A Bomb Threat, So That’s Fantabulous

You guys! YOU GUYS. The Bachelorette just barely started up again and already there’s drama — one of the current contestants was charged with making a bomb threat in 2005. Which, when you think about it, is probably the definition of being there for the wrong reasons. “Hi yeah, I’m just here to make a bomb threat.” “Sir, that is incorrect behavior and you will not be receiving a rose this evening.” More »

Let’s Meet The Gents On The New Season Of The Bachelorette, Shall We?

The Bachelorette premiered last night, with Desiree Hartsock being introduced to twenty-five men eager to win her heart on national television. Either that or embarrass themselves horribly by getting way too drunk at the Cocktail Party and sent home before the Rose Ceremony. More »

Jimmy Kimmel Predicting The Bachelorette Winner May Be More Entertaining Than The Show

Jimmy Kimmel predicts the winner of this season of The Bachelorette as a man by the name of Brooks Forester. Desiree Hartsock never confirms or denies anything, so you can go nuts analyzing her responses and body language as much as you want, but I really just need to talk about this guy’s name for a second, while I have you here. Brooks. Forester. That is absurd. That’s the name of a kid born out of the blissful union of a sensible four-door sedan and an L.L. Bean catalogue. More »

Here’s Why I’m Pissed That Desiree Hartsock Is The Next Bachelorette

Welp, Desiree Hartsock has been announced as the star of the next season of The Bachelorette, surprising exactly zero people but disappointing me extravagantly. More »

The Bachelor Hometown Visits — Is It Wrong That I Agree With Desiree’s Brother?

Call me crazy, but I’m glad Desiree’s brother Nate said what he did to Sean Lowe on The Bachelor last night. More »