Welcome back to the media, Nate Hartsock, bad boy brother of Desiree Hartsock! I’ve missed you terribly in the many months since you helped Sean Lowe decide to eliminate Des on the last season of The Bachelor, and the slightly less many months since you appeared on the storied ninth season of The Bachelorette to half-heartedly attempt to whip up some ratings. Do you have any inappropriate gossip for us? You do?? Great. More
Topic: Desiree Hartsock
Okay, so last night on The Bachelorette finale part one was pretty intense, even for a cynic like me. They’ve been teasing all season that someone was gonna leave the show and break Desiree Hartsock‘s heart, but I always assumed that it was a ratings ploy and that both people would be in on it. After last night’s episode, though, I’m pretty sure that Des was caught completely off-guard. More
The Bachelorette is airing part one of its two-part finale tonight, so what better time than the present to recast Desiree’s sixteen top suitors as their celebrity doppelgĂ¤ngers? More
Last night on The Bachelorette was the Men Tell All episode. On the one hand, it means we have to listen to two hours of these guys trying to vie for enough screen time to be the next Bachelor, but on the other hand, it means we’re one week closer to being done with Desiree Hartsock and her increasingly cloying behaviors and references to this whole thing being ‘a fairytale’. It’s the little things. More
So I wanted to find a way to honor of these always-awkward trips home on The Bachelorette where peoples’ parents give them their blessings to marry total strangers, and the buzz-phrase of the day is “I’ve never felt this way before”. And what better way to celebrate all this wrong-ness being thrown at Desiree Hartsock than by making a list of why these particular guys should never ever be brought home to meet your parents? More
Look guys, it’s me! I’m back again, and this week my disillusionment has spread from The Bachelorette, to reality television, to love itself. This is what you’re doing to me with your fairytale chatter week after week, Desiree Hartsock. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Last night Des had one job — send James home. Should she do it? Yes. Will she do it? That’s anyone’s guess.
Welcome to another week on The Bachelorette, where you’re guaranteed to get your weekly? monthly? yearly? quota of fairy-tale references filled in a mere two hours of contrived fake dating! Hurray! We’re in Munich this week, and Desiree Hartsock has never been to Europe before, so prepare for many wide-eyed gazes and breathy gasps. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride. More
Let’s all give a big hip hip hooray for Desiree Hartsock, who’s really been pouring it out for her homies who couldn’t be here lately on The Bachelorette. I should mention that in this case the things that she’s been pouring out have been the ratings, and the homies who couldn’t be here are the viewers. Just to be clear. More
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Welcome back to a new episode of The Bachelorette, a show that’s getting so eerily close to its parody, Burning Love, that it’s honestly starting to make me uncomfortable.This week we got several new exciting additions to the typical reality show plot — the repeated phrase ‘here for the right reasons’ and the show villain, who will be played in this episodic arc by Ben, exploitative father of the year. More
You guys! YOU GUYS. The Bachelorette just barely started up again and already there’s drama — one of the current contestants was charged with making a bomb threat in 2005. Which, when you think about it, is probably the definition of being there for the wrong reasons. “Hi yeah, I’m just here to make a bomb threat.” “Sir, that is incorrect behavior and you will not be receiving a rose this evening.” More
The Bachelorette premiered last night, with Desiree Hartsock being introduced to twenty-five men eager to win her heart on national television. Either that or embarrass themselves horribly by getting way too drunk at the Cocktail Party and sent home before the Rose Ceremony. More
Jimmy Kimmel predicts the winner of this season of
Welp, Desiree Hartsock has been announced as the star of the next season of The Bachelorette, surprising exactly zero people but disappointing me extravagantly. More