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Your Stupid Laugh Of The Day: Kitten Freaks Out
I can’t explain it. I don’t think Ashton Kutcher is a “sissy boy” or anything like that (mainly because this is the first time I’ve ever used that term). But I just can’t picture him getting into a brawl with a security guard… or anyone, really. More
Demi Moore reportedly thought that if she’d been able to have a baby with Ashton Kutcher, it would’ve saved their marriage…proving that sometimes it’s important to pat yourself on the back and remind yourself how much smarter you are than celebrities. More
Today is his 35th birthday, so I thought we could discuss 35 reasons we should be nicer to him. Then I realized 35 is a big number. So I changed it to “some” reasons. So let’s begin with our vague-numbered list of reasons we should stop making fun of him. More
Individually these gems have made a year’s worth of bad decisions. Combined…probably enough for a lifetime. After several series of unfortunate events it’s important that we take the time to learn from their mistakes so we can start 2013 off on the right foot. More
I guess Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore really did have an official union and are not just Kabbalah spirit animals, because after a year of doing nothing but hot younger chicks More
Based on her recent outfits and the fact that the boyfriend who just dumped her, Vito Schnabel, is 26, Demi Moore seems to believe that she’s aging backward, ala Benjamin Button. More
Happy birthday to Demi Moore, whose body and ability to lure men have been better than mine for a solid fifty years now. More
If Mila could survive being an awkward 9-year-old Lisa Frank model, then I could overcome my two rounds of braces to wake up tomorrow with Emma Watson’s face. Why, it isn’t so far-fetched that I too could date Demi Moore’s ex-husband one day.
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I don’t feel sorry for you, Demi Moore, that Ashton Kutcher is now in a normal, age-appropriate relationship with Mila Kunis. Ashton and Mila (AshMil?) got straight up civilian this week by walking around NYC in weekend wear and making out on a rock in Central Park. More
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“Having famous parents can get you out of shit.” More
This is a lesson for all women out there who want to marry hot actor/models that are closer in age to their children than them. Don’t. Unless you want to end up as lonely and restraining-ordered as poor Demi Moore. As you may have heard, her three normally-named daughters aren’t speaking to her. Rumer, Scout and Tallulah are sick and tired of her needy antics and are even considering a restraining order. More
After considering an intervention, now Demi Moore‘s daughters Scout, Rumer, and Tallulah aren’t even speaking to their mother. Find out why. More
Move your bare ass over, Scout Willis. Two Willises can play at this game. More
Dakota Fanning is still like twelve years old and starring in The Cat And The Hat, right? No? She’s eighteen and starting work on the movie Very Good Girls with Demi Moore and Elizabeth Olsen where she’s trying to lose her virginity? I’m gonna need a moment to process all that. More
