Everything Kanye West Has Ever Done, Ranked From Least To Most Offensive
In Honor Of Her Birthday, Here Are A Few Extremely Specific Reasons I Like Tina Fey,
Beyonce Might Be Denying Her Pregnancy, Is Definitely Laughing At Us
Justin And Selena Are Back Together, If You Believe Pieces Of Paper On Chairs
Ke$ha Gets Specific About The Ghost Sex, It Involves Liberace And A Dinosaur
Kristen Wiig Gives An Admirable Explanation For Not Making Bridesmaids 2
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can” – Gwyneth Paltrow
(Yes, it’s true! That’s an actual thing that Our Lady of GOOP said. While it may seem that Gwyn was just being elitist, the secret truth is that she was actually a hardcore Cheez Whiz addict for many years. Here’s an excerpt from her memoir from that period.) More
Man, the war on drugs isn’t going so well, is it? I mean, when you can start buying crack two-for-one at Costco? Well that’s enough for the whole family! Okay, fine, they meant “crackers.” Just let us have our fun.
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With its cornucopia of new memes for the enjoyment of bored office workers across the nation, the Internet at large certainly wasted no time making fun of Charlie Sheen’s recent crack-fueled personality explosion. And why should it? Look: We fully recognize that what’s going on with Charlie and his family is sad and terrible. We know that this is a real situation happening to real people and that sucks. However pop culture created this monster and it’s pop culture’s job to reign the monster in — with memes, dammit. So here it is, your guide to all the Charlie Sheen virality taking over the web: More
Dear Charlie: How do you know when you’ve stopped being able to manage your crack addiction socially?
Are you high right now? If so, how high? Are you on a first name and age/sex/location basis with Ruby, the Jamaican Cedars-Sinai emergency room night nurse? Are your pants on? Are you caught in the middle of a love-octagon that boasts three porn stars, a hooker and Japanese sex doll? Do your own children get the shakes and start to cry when they see you? No? Then you’re probably fine. Or not. I dunno, ask Dr. Drew. More
Charlie Sheen recently gave an interview in which he discussed the pleasures of crack use. Here’s one quote he gave when asked about being sober: “It’s inauthentic – it’s not who I am.” (Dlisted)
All is right in the world: childhood friends Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have ended their long-standing feud. (Perez Hilton)
Esperanza Spalding winning the Best New Artist Grammy award over Justin Bieber prompted Kanye West to tweet about the upset. Because sharing his personal opinion about who the award should have gone to has always worked out so well for him… (Oh No They Didn’t!)
This is almost good news, considering everything that’s been going on in Tiger Wood‘s life lately: he was fined for spitting on a golf course. (People) More
The best thing going on on the Internet right now: Researchers from the National Institute of Drug Abuse are answering high schoolers questions on a public chat board. It’s really informative actually, but reminds us exactly how stupid and ill-informed we were about drugs back in high school. Also, it’s hysterical, watching people with PhDs in drug research try to answer questions that you’d usually find on Yahoo message boards. Our favorite questions and answers below: More
Okay, I get it. The way to get recognized for good parenting is as follows: Have a high-powered modelling career. (check) Get so skinny that you can fall through a crack in the floor. (uhhh….let’s say check.) Get pregant. (check!) … More
