Topic: Breaking Amish

Abe’s Mother Is Actually Attempting A Reality TV Star Career On Breaking Amish

I think it’s fair to say that there’s no character on TV right now more complex than Abe’s mother on Breaking Amish. Not only does her reason for being on the show make absolutely no sense, but her acting skills leave much to be desired. Hence why she’ll soon be America’s new favorite reality star! Okay, maybe not soon. And maybe not favorite, but she’s going to be a reality star on this season of Breaking Amish, come hell or high water or SHUNNING. More »

It Might Be A Brave New World For Breaking Amish, But It’s Still The Same Old Script

After months of waiting around for Breaking Amish: Brave New World to premiere, we finally go to reunite with our favorite rag-tag group of former Amishonnites last night. The whole gang’s back in action and seemingly ready to return to contradicting their words with their actions right off the bat. More »

In Honor Of The Return Of Breaking Amish, Let’s Talk About All The Times They Broke The Truth

Did you know that Breaking Amish returns this very Sunday. Yep, that’s right. All your favorite former Amish kids (and their token Mennonite friend) are back to test our Internet stalking skills again with their Florida spin-off, Breaking Amish: Brave New World. As if the show wasn’t already a complete shitshow, they’re going to Florida. Ten bucks says Jeremiah convinces Abe to wrestle an alligator during the premiere. More »

Breaking Amish Attempts To Become Even More Hate-Watchable By Filming Season 2 In Florida

They’re moving the worst people on TV to the worst state in the country. Like everything else TLC does, it’s evil and genius and it’s therefore going to be a hit. More »

Lifetime Movie An Amish Murder Was Boring, Even By Amish TV Standards

Not to be outdone by TLC or Discovery, the network premiered An Amish Murder last night. It was based on a book titled Sworn to Silence. Even a melodramatic title like that wasn’t good enough for Lifetime. Since the movie’s IMDB page still calls it Sworn to Silence, ~~I know~~ I’m guessing it was a last-minute change to pick up on the Amish trend. More »

An Amish Murder Proves That The Amish Need A New Publicist Stat

There’s nothing trendier than the Amish right now. From your closet to your kitchen, there’s no harm in sprinkling a little more Amish into your life. Need a finishing touch for your outfit? How about a bonnet! Looking to add a little pizzazz into your dinner? How about cooking it over a wood stove! Craving a hit show for your network’s line-up? Cast a few Amish folk! More »

You Know How I Know The Amish Mafia Is Fake? They’re Horrible Criminals

Either this show’s completely scripted or the people on this show are the worst mafia members in the history of mafias. They make more rookie mistakes than Henry Rowengartner in Rookie of the Year — and as the title suggest he was ROOKIE OF THE YEAR. More »

What Your Favorite TLC Series Says About You!

Any true TV enthusiast has stumbled upon TLC programming at some point during a game of TV guide roulette. It usually starts as one click, just the first few minutes, just to see how it feels. Then hours later you’re sucked into a TV marathon of greatness, trying to figure where all of Sunday went. More »

8 Celebrities Who Won’t Make Any Other Year End Lists Besides This One

Today we’re introducing the first ever Crushable Celebrity Pity List — celebrating everyone who’s done something this year that didn’t result in them getting arrested. In a place as twisted as Hollywood, that’s an impressive achievement in itself. More »

What We're Reading:

Best Funeral Ever Is A Real TLC Show And This Is A Real Trailer For It

The upcoming TV special Best Funeral Ever exists. In real life. You’re not dreaming right now. This isn’t an acid trip gone awry. More »

The Best Part Of Amish Mafia Is When They Tell You That It’s Based On Amish Legend

Like a NYC club created from a nightmare Stefon once had, this show has everything a TV enthusiast could want: suspenders, Mennonite men living among the Amish, guns, buggy crashes, scandalous affairs and a shady barn where business goes down.
More »

I’m So Excited For Secrets Of A Trophy Wife That I Just Married An Old Rich Guy And Bought Myself Boobs

Just when I thought TLC couldn’t bring us one more jam-packed amazing show before the end of 2012, they announce that they’ll be airing a special called Secrets of a Trophy Wife this Saturday. More »

The Ultimate Thanksgiving TV Guide To Prevent You From Killing Your Family

Thanksgiving — a day to be (extra) thankful for the delicious food on your plate and your loving friends and family. If we’re being honest here (and I hope we are) it’s also a time when those same friends and family can drive you absolutely crazy. To keep you from carving away at something (or someone) other than the bird on your table, here’s your very own Thanksgiving TV guide. More »

The Lies Of The Breaking Amish Reunion Proves They Didn’t Need To Script The Season

The cast of Breaking Amish can twist the truth as much at they want now that the show’s over, but it still doesn’t mean what they’re saying makes any sense More »

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