Even I need to apologize for the messiness of the divorce that I’m going to dive into. It’s the one between Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, and it just got really down and dirty — Chris let the kids have fast food. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. More
Topic: Apple Martin
Today marks the 13th birthday of Willow Smith, a sassy rising star, the daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and the only person to ever wear a bowler hat and not make me want to punch them in the face. More
Apple and Moses have discovered that junk foods are real, and they’re spectacular. In her lifestyle newsletter Goop, Gwyneth addresses all those carb-obsessed Americans who yelled at her for her decisions, their voices muffled by the hunks of bread hanging grotesquely out of their filthy maws. More
Self-appointed food expert of the century, Gwyneth Paltrow, took a quick break from gaining charisma points by talking to herself in a mirror to write a cookbook titled, Oh Please, Do Go Ahead and Feed Your Children, But Don’t Come Running to me When They’re Little Tubs of Lard. P.S You Disgust Me! More
Noted fashionable iceberg Gwyneth Paltrow melted the tippy tops of her polar ice caps on New Years Eve, and busted out what can only be referred to as mom-dancing onstage at Jay-Z and Chris Martin‘s show. More
When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their baby Apple, it made headlines. “Why that’s not a name, that’s a fruit!” we all exclaimed. However now, 7 years later, we see apples in the grocery store and think to ourselves, “how funny to name a fruit after a celebrity child!” More
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are on the lookout for a tutor to teach their two kids, Apple and Moses. But not just any instructor will do for this pair of GOOPers. Oh no, Gwyn and Chris are looking for someone who — no joke — is fluent in Greek, Latin, French and Spanish, can play two instruments, and loves sailing and tennis. Additionally, they’re hoping for someone Oxbridge trained. Sound pretty high fallutin’? You don’t know the half of it. We got our hands on the rest of the Paltrow/Martin family’s job posting: More
You know what impossibly cute celebrity kids totally resemble? Impossibly cute baby animals! Baby lions, baby porcupines, baby bunnies, oh my! We can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner.
Here’s a secret: Every time we hear that a celebrity has given birth, we experience a small wave of panic as we check to see what name she’s chosen. The devil on the left shoulder always hops for something hilarious and weird while the angel on the right prays — for that baby’s sake — for something nice and normal. Because, man are there some totally batshit kid’s names out there (or Kyd‘s names if you’re David Duchovny)! Take a look at our gallery of the absolute most comically-named celeb offspring of all time. More
Gwyneth Paltrow is unsure whether she’ll have a third child with husband Chris Martin, so she’s leaving it up to fate. “Sometimes I think, ‘Oh my God, I want another one right now, I’ll sustain any amount of vomiting’ or … More
Image details: Estee Lauder Spokesmodels Gwyneth Paltrow & Elizabeth Hurley debut Estee Lauder Fragrance Sensuous served by picapp.com Four-year-old Apple Martin is becoming quite the little lady! Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter loves to dress up, wear makeup, and … More
Image details: Coldplay Perform At Carling Brixton Academy served by picapp.com Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s choice of Sunday for their daughter has everyone talking, but they have at least one celebrity supporter. Chris Martin set the bar for unusual … More
Yummy mummy Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman on Monday night. During the interview she talked about nearly four-year-old Apple’s feminine side, and her “sensitive thug,” two-year-old Moses. Watch the full interview here!