Topic: advertising

Am I Right Ladies? Spanx, But No Spanx

Am I Right Ladies? Spanx, But No Spanx

Breathing is the worst, amirightladies? That’s why we have “body shapers,” to ensure that going out on the town means 70% the O2. I’m not saying oxygen makes you fat, but I’m not not saying it. Water isn’t the only natural element that causes bloat. After all, there’s an O in H2O. You do the math. Or the chemistry. More »

Am I Right Ladies? Girls Are Stupid, They Should Throw Rocks at Themselves

Am I Right Ladies? Girls Are Stupid, They Should Throw Rocks at Themselves

I don’t need retail therapy; I need therapy because of retail, amirightladies? Judging by how their clothes fit me—or don’t fit me, if we’re parsing words here—I think I’m allergic to Forever 21. In the latest of a string of bad decisions that make up their business model, Forever Twenty One, Incorporated released a T-shirt with the words “Allergic to Algebra” screen-printed on it, presumably by the hands of female factory workers in China. Not exactly the “for us, by us” our sisters were fighting for. More »

Am I Right Ladies? Oh, LancĂ´me ON

Am I Right Ladies? Oh, Lancôme ON

Lancôme perfume has added another wide-eyed beauty to their cabinet, and another reason why we “normos” and “uggos” won’t be getting swept off our feet on a Paris street anytime soon. Aspirational? Try EXASPIRATIONAL, amirightladies?

Don’t get me wrong. My idea of true romance obviously includes lilting piano melodies, soft-focused lenses, diamonds, idling around old European cities and running over bridges for no apparent reason—but I don’t need a company like LancĂ´me rubbing the fantasy in my face. More »