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Here Are My Precise Thoughts On The New Man Of Steel Trailer

Namely: WELL HELLO THERE, HENRY CAVILL. More »

Oh Good, Amanda Bynes Had A ‘Drug-Fueled House Party’

The only thing that Amanda Bynes has tweeted in the last couple days or so has been the cryptic phrase ‘The only thing that’s certain is change’, so I optimistically allowed myself to believe that she might be finally getting help. GUESS AGAIN. More »

Lindsay Lohan Plans To Get Back On Adderall After Rehab, Glad We Got That Cleared Up

In case you were thinking that Lindsay Lohan might actually be taking rehab seriously this time around, don’t worry — she plans on getting right back on Adderall once she gets out. Good, great, I’m glad we had this talk. More »

Jimmy Kimmel Predicting The Bachelorette Winner May Be More Entertaining Than The Show

Jimmy Kimmel predicts the winner of this season of The Bachelorette as a man by the name of Brooks Forester. Desiree Hartsock never confirms or denies anything, so you can go nuts analyzing her responses and body language as much as you want, but I really just need to talk about this guy’s name for a second, while I have you here. Brooks. Forester. That is absurd. That’s the name of a kid born out of the blissful union of a sensible four-door sedan and an L.L. Bean catalogue. More »

I’m Disappointed In Brad Pitt For Taking These Low Blows At Jennifer Aniston

Alright Brad Pitt, you won, okay? You won the breakup with Jennifer Aniston. You’re one half of the most beautiful and sought-after relationship in Hollywood, you’re surrounded by your six beautiful children, and eight years later, the media is still throwing around words like ‘childless’, ‘alone’, and ‘heartbroken’ to describe Jen. It shouldn’t have been a contest, but it ended up that way…so stop acting like such a sore winner. More »

Melissa McCarthy Rescued My Faith In Humanity Today

In case you needed more proof that Melissa McCarthy is a total baller, today is your lucky day. I personally didn’t need any more proof, because I saw Bridesmaids and her SNL episodes and I’m not some kind of commitment-phobe with my celebrity crushes, okay?!? More »

Okay, Enough Is Enough — What Is Drake Possibly Doing In Anchorman 2?

Can someone please explain to me just exactly how many cameo parts there are in Anchorman 2? Are there gonna be main characters in this movie as well, or is it just gonna be famous faces popping in for three or four lines and then handing it off to the next celebrity? More »

This New The Wolverine Trailer Is Very Puzzling To A Non-Nerd

I don’t know what to think about the movie The Wolverine, guys. The first trailer I saw led me to believe that it was just a series of climaxes, but now there seem to be actual plot elements in this next one, and I can’t get my head around it. Part of it might be the fact that I elected not to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine so I have absolutely no idea where we are in this story, but I think it’s also confusing. More »

First World Problems: Brangelina’s Kids Think Their Parents Make Out Too Much

This is apparently gonna be one of those days where I swim in a lake of regret at not being one of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie‘s adopted kids. I had so many opportunities to make a good impression and get good grades at school in hopes of capturing their attentions and affections, and what did I do? I failed at every turn. More »

What We're Reading:

7 Of The Bachelor‘s Unintentional Funniest Moments

As you may or may not know, a little something called The Bachelor Special: Funniest Moments is airing tonight on ABC. In theory it’s all the funniest things that have ever happened on The Bachelor, but I find myself a little dubious. Are they really equipped to judge what’s funny? After all, this is a network that still puts The Bachelor on the air and pretends that it leads to long-term, loving, committed marriages 100% of the time. Now there’s a funny moment. More »

Will Smith Is My New Favorite Hot Mess, Impromptu Rapping And All

Am I the only one who was unaware of the full scope of Will Smith‘s ability to inadvertently entertain? Call me naive, but I took him seriously as an actor for a long time, and only recently started realizing his full potential as a hot ass mess. More »

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