Sexy, manipulative Chuck is back at the top of the list after he wrecks Dan’s literary career; Charlie Rhodes impostor Ivy loses everything, which serves her right; and Blair’s perfect life as a princess leading on two guys is getting way tiresome. More
Author Archives: Joshua Friesen
We applaud Georgina and Chuck’s manipulations and are tired of Blair’s various love affairs on Valentine’s Day. Kissing Dan while married to Louis and secretly in love with Chuck, really? More
This episode should have been retitled “Dan and Blair Sit Around in an Airport and then a Hotel While Other People Wonder Where They Are,” but at least Blair stood up for herself and we now know the truth about Gossip Girl and the real Charlie Rhodes. More
Blair loses out this week after abandoning her wedding reception… but Dan, who steals a limo for her a la The Graduate, nearly makes it to the top of our power ranking. The only person in his way? Georgina, who might also be Gossip Girl herself! More
Our Gossip Girl recaps now include power rankings to keep you abreast of the social intrigues of the Upper West Side. Our favorites this week? Scheming Nate and drunk Blair! More
We’re fed up with Gossip Girl for starting “The End of the Affair” with a months-long jump into the future. Chuck’s OK, but what about everything we missed?! More
Five consecutive party episodes. Five. Let’s revisit them in reverse chronological order: [deep breath] Charlie’s debutant ball, CeCe’s 70’s party, Blair’s bridal shower, Chuck’s At the Table of Macbeth benefit, and The Spectator’s launch party [exhale]. I get that these guys are the 1%, but they must do something other than party, right? The only thing bigger than Lilly’s decorating budget is Chuck’s scotch bill. More
Head Writer: “This script is killing me. We need to reveal Ivy’s true identity, but how the hell are we going to get the Rhodes family in one room?”
Writer #1: “We could kill off Dan. Then, you know, they’d all be at the funeral.”
Head Writer: [considering for a moment] “No, no, no. I mean, I hate Dan as much as anybody in this room, but he just started this new relationship with Alessandra. We gotta let that play out. They haven’t even had sex yet.” More
Friendship is a complicated thing. It’s different than marriage, there’s less commitment and no legal framework. It’s not a romance, exactly. Attraction and sex don’t define friendships the way they do with lovers. It’s not a business transaction; financial reward is never the foundation of a true friendship. More
Judging by this episode’s title, I assume the black and white dream sequence that opens episode seven is a tribute to the classic Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall movie The Big Sleep. I can’t tell you that for sure because I’ve never seen the movie, but here’s what I do know: Bogart and Bacall had one of Hollywood’s great love affairs, and when we see Blair and Chuck (presumably) take those classic roles, it’s fitting and proof their story isn’t over yet. More
I’m going to take a break from the snark this week and focus on one of my chief complaints with Gossip Girl. This week’s episode saw what appeared to be the end of Serena’s career in the film industry and the end of Chuck’s self-interested pursuit of his psychiatrist, Dr. Barnes. Serena’s plotline lasted six episodes; Chuck’s lasted two. I know (better than most) that the Internet, cable TV, iPhones, et al have reduced this country’s attention span to that of a stray cat, and that must be catered to, but is it too much to ask to fully explore a plotline every so often? More
I wrote last week about my love of Gossip Girl episode titles and the respect I have for whoever thinks them up, but this week’s title has me stumped. “The Two Finger Rule”? Trusty Google gave me three possible answers:
a) A way to create a visual reference when lining up a pool shot.
b) Sound advice for preventing back injuries (If it’s too heavy to lift with two fingers on both hands, get help).
c) In plastic surgery, the idea that pulling your face back with two fingers does not give a patient an accurate preview of a facelift’s results. More
Before we start with this week’s review, I’d like to take a moment to applaud the renegade visionary who titles these episodes. I know it’s probably a team effort, but I prefer to imagine a single crazed genius locked in the dark confines of some Hollywood back lot, sitting at a bare desk in an empty room, surrounded by scraps of paper filled with his abandoned ideas. He’s focused, eyes screwed shut, sweat gathering at his brow, thick glasses fogged with the escaping heat from his overtaxed brain. Finally, with his deadline looming, he captures that elusive muse, that inspiration, and he cries out, “Eureka!” More
CHUCK KEPT THE DOG!! Sorry, I probably shouldn’t lead with the emotional climax of this week’s episode, but it’s possible this moment changes Gossip Girl forever. More on that later.
The pot keeps bubbling in episode five. Dan decides to take credit for the embarrassing novel he’s been trying to kill, Blair reveals Louis to be her child’s father, Charlie finds a way to stay in the city, and Elizabeth Hurley may be the greatest threat to Gossip Girl since net neutrality. Now for the details: More