Guys, I’m worried about Taylor Swift’s belly button. It seems to have gone missing again. Taylor and her boyfriend Calvin Harris posted photos on Instagram of their romantic beach vacation, and while other people are like, “Aww, look at those lovebirds,” I’m sitting here screaming, “WHERE IS THAT WOMAN’S NAVEL?!”
In all the photos, Taylor is wearing a bikini that exposes her belly button. This is no vintage ’50s number that reaches her sternum. So you’d think that in at least one of the photos, her belly button would be visible. But nope, you would be wrong. No matter what, Taylor is positioned in such a way that it’s not even evident that she has a belly button. I thought we already solved that mystery, goddammit.
Here she is doing the “Who, me?” turn.
Here she is from the same angle emerging from the water like a supermodel.
Aaand still no belly button. I’ve gotten a lot more familiar with her butt, though. So there’s that.
This is my favorite one of all, because Calvin’s facing forward, making his belly button extremely apparent, and Taylor’s still doing her half-turn. Belly button? What belly button?
Is it weird that this is what I’ve taken away from these photos? Yeah, probably. But come on, guys. This is getting into Ariana “Only Photograph This Side of My Face” Grande territory. Like, what’s the deal? It’s just a belly button. One that we’ve seen before, as rare as it is. Does something pop out of it on certain days that she doesn’t want us to see? What is happening?
Anyway, belly button or no, these photos haven’t helped Taylor regain her number one spot on Instagram. That still belongs to Selena Gomez. Not that I’m suggesting there was an ulterior motive or anything. As you can see from the above post, I’m no conspiracy theorist. Ahem.