Hey guys, big news. Adam Levine got a tattoo. You’re probably thinking that’s not exactly big news, considering A.) there are arguably much more important things going on in the world, and B.) Adam Levine already has a bunch of tattoos, so why is this one such a big deal? Well, it’s big news and a big deal simply because it’s really big. So big it apparently took six months to complete.
The tattoo is on his back, and yesterday he shared a photo of it on Instagram.
I must say it’s very impressive, especially considering how long it took to finish. But I don’t totally understand what it’s supposed to mean. In fact, I don’t understand at all. And yes, I know that not all tattoos have to ~*mean*~ something. Sometimes you just want a cool picture permanently drawn on your body, or you’re trying to cover up an existing tattoo that actually did have meaning, but you are now divorced from that meaning so it’s awkward.
But even if there isn’t a deep philosophical or biographical significance, how did this tattoo even come about? There had to be some reason Adam Levine decided he wanted to have a winged mermaid holding a scull in front of a pirate ship surrounded by an elaborate border tattooed on his body for the rest of his life. So I came up with a few totally plausible reasons, just to make myself a little less confused.
1. It’s a commentary on Starbucks owning our souls.
2. His wife Behati Prinsloo is secretly a sea witch, and it’s a tribute to her.
3. Since it’s on his back, he can’t see it, and he actually thinks it’s something completely different.
4. He got the idea after filling in a particularly fun mad libs game.
5. He’s just so tired of seeing the same old non-winged, non-skull-holding mermaid tattoos, so he decided to be different.
Other than those five possibilities, I have no explanation. But I don’t have an explanation for most of the things Adam Levine does, so what else is new?