Out of all the celebrity romances I believe in my heart of hearts to be fake, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are quite possibly the least subtle. (Okay, so Cuocovill was pretty embarrassing, but at least they kind of tried to make it look like the paps just happened to catch them on a totally real grocery trip.) At first it seemed like they would play coy and/or troll us about it for awhile to keep people guessing, but then they just gave up and moved on to official statements, on-air PDA, horse-gifting and song-writing. And last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live was no different.
Gwen and Jimmy spend a couple of minutes talking about Gwen’s live music video for her song “Make Me Like You” at the Grammys. Then Jimmy brings up the neon sign reading “Blake’s” that appeared over a bar during the performance, wondering who it could possibly be referring to. (Blake Lively? Blake Griffin?) Gwen acts like she isn’t going to answer for approximately ten seconds (I’m not exaggerating here) before quickly remembering that she’s supposed to be pimping this relationship at every available opportunity and saying, “I will admit that that song is about that guy.”
No, Gwen! Has Taylor Swift taught you nothing? Don’t say who your songs are about, especially if it’s all bullshit. That way it seems less like bullshit, and more people will believe you. This is Fakelationship 101. I mean, you already literally spelled it out for us in neon letters. Now you’re just going overboard. But I get it, the new season of The Voice is premiering in a couple of weeks and you have to ramp up promotion. NBC really needs to hire better writers for this. I’m already predicting a season finale breakup. Who will get custody of Adam Levine? Tune in to find out!