Attention! This is not a drill! Two unrelated celebrity children hung out together over the weekend. They were, of course, Gwyneth Paltrow and her
brother ex-husband Chris Martin’s daughter Apple Martin, and Beyonce and Jay-Z’s daughter Blue Ivy Carter. Both girls were at the Super Bowl to see their father and mother, respectively, perform during the halftime show.
Yesterday before the game, Gwyneth posted the above photo of the girls, 11 and 4, on her Instagram account with the caption “#superbowl50 jacket game.” My first thought upon glimpsing the photo is that it could conceivably be a picture of Gwyneth and Beyonce after they both drank some kind of Wonderland-esque de-aging potion (or extreme plastic surgery, let’s be real here) that would shave off approximately 30 years. I mean, just look at them. It’s totally possible and would make a great movie. (Nudge nudge, Hollywood.)
Then my second thought was about what these two got to talking about. It’s my favorite thing to do when celebrities hang out together, whether they be Kanye West and Kristen Stewart or Taylor Swift and Blake Lively. In this case, I imagine some of the conversation had to do with their similarly unique names. Apple probably bragged about how, without her, Blue would be named something boring like Barbara or Jennifer.
Then they probably compared the prices of their birthday presents and talked shit about Suri Cruise before Apple offered to let Blue borrow her mermaid tail the next time she goes swimming, and Blue was all, “Um, pretty sure I can afford my own mermaid tail, but thanks anyway.” Then Gwyneth probably offered them some kale chips and let them have their weekly Coke.
If only Bruno Mars had a daughter so she could have joined the party as well. If you think about it, it’s kind of rude of him that he doesn’t. Where are your manners, Bruno? Have a baby already!