Miley Cyrus is really slipping in the shock department these days, because after hearing about her upcoming concert, which involves mass nudity and milk, I was just like, “Yeah… and…?” Come on, Miley, you can do better than that.
Miley’s pal Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips shared the news on Instagram yesterday, explaining that the show would involve Miley, his band, and the audience “COMPLETELY naked” while milk, or at least “white stuff that looks like milk” is “spewed everywhere.” He adds, “It’s a video ( in the works) for #mileycyrusandherdeadpetz song “The Milky Milky Milk.” He accompanied this news with a photo of him and his bandmates naked, along with a photo of Miley naked (all from the nipples up, mind you).
Is it weird that I’m more concerned with the logistics of this than the simple fact that Miley Cyrus is playing an all-nude concert with milk spraying everywhere? How do you guarantee that everyone is “COMPLETELY naked”? Do you have them all check their clothes at the door so no one chickens out and wraps a scarf around their waist before the cameras roll? Will there be a guard on duty to patrol the crowd and scan for any clothed people? How tightly will this audience be packed? What happens at the end? Do a bunch of naked randos make a bottle neck at the door? These are the important questions.
Granted, it’s nice of them to consider the lactose intolerant people by not making it real milk. It’s also nice for the cows, because really, what cow wants her perfectly good milk splashed all over a bunch of naked Miley Cyrus concertgoers? Can you imagine that conversation back at the farm?
“Bessie, did you hear about that Miley Cyrus concert? I heard they got the milk from one of us.”
“Oh no, I hope it wasn’t me. My milk deserves better than that.”