Well, this is weird. It looks like Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux went and got married. Why would they do such a thing? Don’t they care about maintaining their reputation as an engaged couple? Does the fact that they’ve kept this up for three whole years now mean nothing? What a way to ruin a flawless not-married streak.
Sources told People that the couple said “I do” in a secret ceremony attended by more than 70 guests yesterday at their home in Bel Air. A source says that guests were told it was Justin’s birthday party. That’s interesting, because last year on Ellen, Jen said her friends (including Ellen herself) were stressed out about a surprise wedding being sprung on them, and Jen made it clear that they’d know when the wedding was happening. I guess she’s a liar liar pants on fire. Ellen was one of the guests yesterday, so I hope she called Jen out on it. Actually, scratch that. I hope she calls her out on it the next time Jen’s on her show, so we can all see it.
Overhead photos were snapped of Jen and Justin’s backyard, which featured a deck and tables with ottomans to sit on. (Ugh, my back hurts just thinking about it.) TMZ reports that a large cake “with two [male and female] muppet-like characters” on the top was brought into the house. (If you want to know what the hell that means, just look at the picture.) Oh, and let’s not forget the pastor who was seen holding a Bible as he walked in. Damn, dude, you couldn’t hide that in a bag or something?
As much as I hoped they would break the world engagement record, I supposed it’s nice to have some couples news this week that doesn’t involve a divorce or a break-up or Kendall Jenner hooking up with Nick Jonas. So thanks for that, Jen and Justin. I hope you enjoyed your weird muppet cake.
(Photo: Ivan Nikolov / WENN.com)