Here’s the thing about most teens: when they’re being forced to wake up at 7 AM or earlier to go to
hell school, they generally don’t care what they wear there. That makes enough sense, right? I’d say so, especially considering that 10/10 people would wear literally nothing to any place if that was a thing that didn’t get you arrested. (I know because I did the necessary science, thanks.)
But here’s a conflicting thing about TV: it never got the memo and it’s under the impression that the opposite is true. That’s really the only explanation for why the people in Hollywood costume departments are all, “A $300 Lauren by Ralph Lauren dress for this 16-year-old’s scene in algebra class? What else would anyone be wearing in this situation?!” To which, the answer is always “sweatpants.” Or, since we’re talking about high school, “a pair of too-tight Hollister jeans” works, too.
1. Gossip Girl
You’re never supposed to forget that these kids are richer than even your dream version of yourself. But, even still, the sheer amount of ascots and expensive coats —that were so impractical! A winter coat with half-sleeves? BYE.— worn in this show were just out of this world.
2. Pretty Little Liars
Let’s play a game called, “Let’s Guess What Time A Real Student Would Have To Wake Up Every Morning In Order To Arrive To School Looking Like This”. I’m in the market for a shorter name, if you’ve got one.
3. Clarissa Explains It All
Clarrisa explains it all, except apparently how she managed to find time between all of her ~teen probz~ to acquire the wardrobe of every ’90s kid’s dreams.
4. Every Disney show ever
I don’t know which adults Disney execs went to school with, but I knew approximately zero classmates who wore fur and heels to school.
5. Buffy The Vampire Slayer
True, Buffy wasn’t a legitimately “normal” high school student. Which, if by nothing else, is proven by her wardrobe.
6. Saved By The Bell
Zack was way too put-together to be a gross teenaged boy. But also Kelly was a damn supermodel. Get out of here.
Did they just wear couture to class on the reg? I’m pretty sure that’s something that’s happened before on this show.
Sorry to your ego if you’ve ever seen and then wanted to buy an outfit on this show worn by any of the following people: Rachel, Quinn, or Kurt. Because you can’t afford it.
9. The Carrie Diaries
I suppose that it’s only fitting that the miniature version of TV’s most ridiculously frivolous-spender would dress like that, even in high school. But are we expected to believe that every character dressed like they just stepped off of a New York Fashion Week runway? I want to, but my brain won’t allow it.