• Tue, Sep 2 - 3:28 pm ET

Duck Dynasty Guy Says Jesus Was A Homophobe, Which Is Super Christian Of Him

Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson on the cover of GQ December 2013Thank goodness for Phil Robertson, y’know? I was just sitting here getting worried that celebrities might be done saying inane things on my birthday, and then along he came to remind me that Jesus was a homophobe. Sigh of relief.

In case you aren’t up-to-date on your celebrity idiots, this is the bearded, religious, reality TV idiot from Duck Dynasty who got himself suspended from his own show last year with some severely racist and homophobic comments. You know, those ones where he compared homosexuality to bestiality and said he’d never seen a pre-civil rights era black person be anything but happy and singing in the fields. So yeah.

You’d think he might have used that suspension downtime for some deep-thinking about the true message of Christianty (although he was back on Duck Dynasty episodes airing in January, so maybe he didn’t have time), but you’d be wrong. Or actually, he’d be wrong. Because he reevaluated his ideas and opinions for his new book unPHILtered (get it????), and now he’s ready to lump Jesus in with his homophobia as well! How very Christian of you!

Phil Robertson: “People need to get it in their head, dude. I don’t hate anybody.”

Interviewer: “Would you consider yourself a homophobe?”

Phil Robertson: “I’m as much of a homophobe as Jesus was. People who are participating in homosexual behavior — they need to know that I love them.”

That’s right, they participate in homosexual behavior, just like you participate in heterosexual behavior. And I’m sure both of you could quit anytime. But regardless, come on! I’m no religious scholar, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to put words in Jesus’ mouth, especially when they’re about what is and isn’t a sin.

Although now that you mentioned it, I’m pretty sure I heard Jesus say that reality shows, being an ignoramus, and dirty gray beards are a sin. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not my fault you’re an idiot!

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  • Sara Steinfeld

    I think he’s trying to say that he, like Jesus, is not a homophobe? This is not the best phrasing of a sentence that I’ve ever encountered.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I get that he’s trying to say that, but since he definitely IS a homophobe, the sentence gains a completely different meaning.

    • Sara Steinfeld

      Word.

  • M_G

    Well now, there are two diverging points here:

    A) Phil does not consider himself homophobic, hence the comparison (also, let’s ignore, for the moment, what a GREAT idea it is to compare yourself to Jesus Christ at any time for any reason).

    However, given his previous stance and his comments since (up to and including other quotes from this book), we can conclude that he DOES, in fact, condemn the “gay lifestyle” (which I hate as an excuse for bigots to try to weasel out of their own prejudices….”Oh, I don’t hate gay PEOPLE. I love gay PEOPLE. I just hate the gay CHOICES and the gay LIFESTYLE is all.” Grrrrr….). Which brings us to our second point:

    B) Phil is, in fact, homophobic, whether he admits to it or not, and therefore has lumped JC into that category too, whether he meant to or not.

    (Just wanted to get this breakdown in ahead of the comments like “THAT’S NOT WHAT HE SAID!” and “THIS IS JUST A STUPID CLICK-BAIT ARTICLE!” that I know are coming….)

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha, you’re exactly right, thank you for anticipating.

  • CMJ
    • Samantha Escobar

      This is my new favorite thing.

  • Napoleon

    Actually it is pretty Christian of him. I’d like to also remind the audience that “Christians” were the same people that starved, maimed and lynched black people some sixty odd years ago. Come to think of it, I’m sure a significant portion of them think heaven is either segregated or exclusively for white people.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Well yeah there’s that.

    • M_G

      Actually, I will have to respectfully disagree. I am Christian, and I cannot stand that these types of people call themselves Christians and then turn around and act the opposite of what they preach. Same throughout history, where Christians have used their religious beliefs as a conduit for power and corruption. And that is NOT AT ALL what being Christian is suppose to be. I don’t want to go off on too great a tangent here, but I wish these guys were less concerned about who’s gay and more concerned with ACTUAL world problems that are too numerous to list.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Because the name ‘Christian’ has been so corrupted and hijacked by that segment of the population, perhaps it’s time to re-name your particular segment (the good ones) as “Christ-like” instead of “Christian”. I know, you shouldn’t have to. But for me, when someone tells me they are a Christian, the first thing i say to them is, ‘How are you Christ-like?’ The stock answer from them is stuttering.

    • FemelleChevalier

      People suck in general and all forms of religion has killed people in the name of political agenda. Yes, ALL, including Buddhism, Animism, and Shamanism (e.g. Imperial Japan).

      But that doesn’t mean that all people under those faith should bear the brunt of their extremist brothers and sisters. Just remember that even the absence of religious faith (atheism) didn’t prevent Stalin from being a murderer.

  • rockmonster

    Happy Birthday! I’m sorry that the douches decided to come out.

    Have a kitten!

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/69ee0c9a3eaaaea07e1af203ef7f857a/tumblr_nb97gbpnJr1sn75h6o1_500.jpg

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Eeeeeee thank you!

    • M_G

      Oh goodness!! I missed that….HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Tell Jenni to toast your bread before she butters it this week and put it on my tab. ;-)

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yayyyy thank you!

  • Em

    I think the point is Jesus wasn’t a homophobe….? But whatever, twist it how you will.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Not sure it’s a twist–he said homophobic things, then said Jesus and himself are equally homophobic. Therefore, Jesus would be homophobic.

  • Samantha Escobar

    In all seriousness, literally TODAY I was thinking, “Huh, I haven’t heard about Duck Dynasty in a long time, I wonder if it’s still so popular.” TADAAAA.

  • fantasymother

    I have a different issue with him, the show, and its bizarre popularity…

    Why? They’re a wealthy family who looked and acted like everyone else in their neck of the woods who then grew their hair and beards and offered themselves up as a bizarre, although rich, redneck family for our amusement… and to become even more wealthy.

    I have never watched it, and refuse to watch it. Why? Because I can hear them laughing all the way to the bank.

    With this as a given, why is anyone surprised by this guy’s homophobic remarks and his attempt to justify them? I live in the mountains of rural PA and he sounds like certain neighbors of mine. Thankfully, he doesn’t sound like ALL of my neighbors.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yeah, I’ve never watched either. I get more than enough background reading the drivel he comes out with.

  • TJ

    If you ever find that you are comparing yourself and Jesus and think, “Hmm, yep, about the same!” then you need to take a step back because you just Kanye’d.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha, yessss.

  • real american

    If u cannot handle the answer you may get from a question don’t fucking askin the question in the first place. That’s what’s wrong with America today. People would rather be lied too then told the truth. Take the pledge of allegence out of school and God out of the pledge of allegence people today are pathetic. If u don’t love it here where everyone has opportunity then get the fuck outta here go live in Mexico or Bagdad or somewhere they will kill u over nothing.