• Tue, Sep 2 - 11:55 am ET

Cee-Lo Green Says It’s Only Sexual Assault If You Can Remember It, So That’s Horrifying

Cee-Lo Green ain't that some shit GIF from Fuck You music videoCongratulations to Cee-Lo Green, whose status just went from ‘vaguely benevolent figure about whom I know almost nothing’ to ‘rapist-apologist’ in less than sixty seconds! Impressive, no?

I was unaware of this until today, but apparently last Friday, Cee-Lo managed to avoid jail time by pleading ‘no contest’ to a charge of slipping MDMA (a form of ecstasy, for those of you who don’t obsessively watch Drugs, Inc.), into a woman’s drink without her knowledge in 2012. Said woman then woke up naked in Cee-Lo’s bed the next morning with no recollection of how she came to be in that state, only to be informed by Cee-Lo’s lawyer that they’d had ‘consensual relations’…which is quite literally my nightmare.

According to prosecutors, no sexual charges were filed due to a ‘lack of evidence’, and Cee-Lo dodged the bullet of four years in jail for ‘furnishing a controlled substance’ by pleading no contest and agreeing to three years of probation, 360 hours of community service, and fifty-two Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. BUT EVEN WITH ALL THAT. Even having completely avoided jail time and being able to maintain his innocence, Cee-Lo wasn’t satisfied, so he took to Twitter to try to clear his name and claim that he couldn’t possibly have raped this woman, because she didn’t remember it. (Spoiler alert: it cleared it 0%, and I am now 100% nauseated.)

Here are the most horrifying of his (now-deleted) tweets:

“People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!”

Yeah? You sure, buddy? Even when they’ve been incapacitated by drugs or alcohol or violence or trauma? Or any number of things that could damage the tenuous synaptic wonderland that’s known as our brain? Memory is an extremely tricky thing, and to act like it’s an indicator that abuse didn’t occur instead of one that it did is not only insulting, it’s actively insane.

“If someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously. so WITH Implies consent.”

I don’t even know what this is supposed to mean, I’m just too busy trying to stop my stomach from churning after reading what was essentially a confession and an excuse for his actions all in one. But wait! There’s more! Before deleting his Twitter entirely, Cee-Lo fired off this rant, which was supposedly an apology for offending anyone, but also included a claim that his words were ‘taken out of context’. SO THAT’S GREAT.

Let me 1st praise god for exoneration fairness & freedom! Secondly I sincerely apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context.

I only intended on a healthy exchange to help heal those who love me from the pain I had already caused from this. Please forgive me as it..

…was your support that got me thru this to begin with. I’d never condone the harm of any women. Thank you.

Yeah that’s right — I don’t condone the harm of any women…I just directly (and admittedly!) participate in it myself. Super!

(Image: Blogspot)

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  • Samantha Escobar

    GARBAGE HUMAN.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      But it can’t be garbage because you didn’t see me throw it out!

  • Alana Vincenza

    Gross gross gross GROSS. What the hell, Cee-Lo?!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      So over it, so over him. Just done.

  • C

    How can anyone not believe he’s 100% guilty now? I hope (as I did with Chris Brown, and look how well that worked out…) he never gets big jobs again. I want people to actually remember this (celebrity crimes are overlooked sooo often), and I hope he isn’t let back on The Voice or anything. Ugh. He’s so disgusting.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Isn’t that the worst? When you’re thinking, “But now EVERYONE will know and they can’t possibly deny it!” and then…they do. Or worse, they don’t deny it and instead just claim he’s “different” or something.

    • C

      Yup. I was so surprised when Chris Brown came back ‘on the scene’ and performed at the (whatever they were, I don’t remember) awards. I thought for sure he’d be completely shunned by, well, the world. I mean, he didn’t just beat a woman (which, of course[!] no matter who it was would have been HORRIBLE), but he beat a woman that had (still has?) a big place in the entertainment industry, and was at those awards.. and they just… let him perform?! And now people who are/were friends(and/or lovers) of that woman – such as Drake – hangout and collaborate with him, and I just can’t believe it. It is, indeed, the worst. People need to stop getting let off the hook after things like this. Maybe this isn’t universally agreed upon, but I don’t believe eeeveryone deserves a second chance. Not like that.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Not unless they at least acknowledge that they squandered their first one!

  • CMJ
  • Alexandra Mitchell

    Ugh, just….eff you, Cee-Lo. This one hits too close to home.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Like…come ON dude, you were just on trial for this exact thing!

  • jen27

    Holy shit. There are just…this is just…Jesus Fucking Christ. The hell is wrong with people?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Lots of stuff, apparently. I’m so disgusted.

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    Typical male scum. Nothing new here, he will be rewarded handsomely instead of punished in any way.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Oof. I really hope you’re wrong.

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  • http://twitter.com/GypsyHeartMark L.M.S.

    This is a new low for Cee-Lo. Why so low Cee-Lo?

  • dy

    He looks like a T-Rex in sunglasses. A t-rex that I want to kick in the nuts.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Right?

  • A_Nicole

    Adds Cee Lo to the list of POS humans who make me question humanity
    But since he’s a guy I’m going to assume this will be over in 3…2…1…what’s this story again?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Exactly. Ugh, I hate it.

  • ThatGurlOverThere

    He is a rapist. A beligerent, disgusting POS who needs to be shunned by normal people. How can you have consensual relations with an inebriated person whom you secretly drugged?! Has he no SHAME?! And then to try and defend it is such a new form of disgusting that even Webster doesn’t have a word for it yet! I’m so over celebrities getting a slap on the wrist for the degredation of women! Chris Brown, R Kelly, to name a few… Are we not worth JUSTICE?!

  • Sick and tired

    I will say two things. 1. He is a despicable human being. and 2. MDMA does not give you amnesia. GHB will, but not ecstasy.