You guys, something momentous occurred within the Kardashian-Jenner empire a couple days ago and it has nothing to do with Kim, Kim’s boobs, or Kim’s butt. Crazy, right? I know. But one member of the family actually doesn’t want to use her last name to coast upon for career success, and that is one Kendall Jenner. Oh, I’m sorry, I mean just “Kendall.” Because she’s dropping her last name, because she wants to be like her predecessors, Tyson and Iman. As in, models who dropped their last name because it was unnecessary and frivolous. Because Kendall, as she will henceforth be known, is in a league all her own. Sorry, Bruce. And Kris (just kidding, she’s probably behind this).
Which got me thinking about all of the celebrities out there who only need one name in this world. Because they’re either that important and cool, or their birth-given surname is too hard for people to spell/remember. Enjoy.
I mean, yeah of course she’s got to lead the list. (Sorry Madonna, you’re bringing up the rear.) It’s CHER, for god’s sake. Or, Cherilyn Sarkisian as she was once known amongst her kin back before Sonny and “Babe” and all that. Kendall Jenner thinks she’s at this level now, just for a point of reference.
“Adele Laurie Blue Adkins” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as sweetly, you know? It’s too…plebian. Not cool enough for someone whose songs make me weep while I simultaneously belt them out in the car while thinking wistfully of my ex who taught me so many things (but I also kind of hate). Ah, emotions.
I just don’t think Paul David Hewson could pull off multi-colored shades and Amy Poehler massages as suavely as “Bono” can, you know? Can you honestly say you’d donate funds to a “Paul David Hewson” before the U2 lead singer? Probably not.
I mean, if you’re gonna be a rapper/singer from Canada, you’ve pretty much got to find any way of upping your cool game. Any. Way. Losing “Graham” as your surname is just the first step. Dating Rihanna and lots of emotional GIFs are solid next steps.
While I don’t know if Gotye will ever have another KISS FM hit, I do know that somehow “Gotye” is a cooler name than “Wouter De Backer.” I mean, OMG.
Could you imagine a guy named Tracy Marrow locking down a wifey named Coco? No, me either. So good thing ol’ Tracy went with the much smoother, much less dorky “Ice-T.”
I don’t know how he went from Sean Carter to Jay-Z or why, but I do know that he legally added his wife’s name to his, making his legal moniker “Sean Carter-Knowles.” Even if these kids don’t make it (or do make it, because of “Jedi mind tricks“), I absolutely love tht he did this. #SorryNotSorry
There’s really no need to use your last name when you’re the queen of the world and everything in it, right? Right. So obviously I can see why Kendall Jenner would feel she was on-par with her majesty.
Ever since she dropped the dollar sign, I gotta admit I’m more of a fan. Also, bonus points for her because “Kesha” is actually her real name.
This is the face I imagine Oprah Winfrey making when she finds out Kendall Jenner deigns herself worthy of going by a singular name. GURRRRL. Come on now.
Because there’s not a doubt in my mind Kendall views herself as the “Twiggy of the Twenty-Fourteens”. Then again, “Lesley Lawson” isn’t nearly as catchy.
Seems like Usher Raymond let “Raymond” burn a lonnngggg time ago, if you ask me. Oh, I’m sorry, “Usher Raymond IV”.
Madonna Louise Ciccone (or as I’ll always know her, “All The Way Mae”), how do your parents feel about you losing your other two names? Especially because they were probably the lesser of three evils, if we’re being totally honest. If her name was “Cynthia” or “Peggy” I doubt it would have the same effect.