• Thu, Aug 28 - 1:00 pm ET

13 Rom-Com Relationships That Get Serious Way Too Fast

Ron Burgundy That Escalated Quickly

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A staple of rom-coms is the fact that there are always these ridiculously unrealistic relationships portrayed. Actually, that’s more like the entire book spine rather than just a single staple. But you get my drift. There are meet-cutes like you, yourself, have never seen on a busy city street in real life. There are breakups so dramatic that they should be nominated for little fictional Academy Awards. And, most of all, there are relationship timelines that enter some alternate universe vortex where everything moves at, like, 10x speed.

Seriously, so many rom-com love stories escalate so quickly that I find myself concerned for the characters physically and emotionally. “Are her friends just going to let her leave that club alone with that stranger,” I’m always asking out-loud, but of no one in particular. “Isn’t showing up unannounced everywhere that this girl you met two days ago goes considered sort of illegal,” I write in my journal each night. It’s wild.

Because, basically, I can’t be fooled by montages and other fancy folk time-lapse sequences. I know that these characters are all falling head over heels faster than most people get their heads over their shoulders. Like, these 13, for example.

1. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

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You guys! Her goal was to both get and lose a guy in ten days. Whereas the normal person deals with something closer to How To Lose A Guy In 10-Ish Months, Unless You Count Breaks, Then It’s Around 13.

2. Overboard

Overboard Closet

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These two go from a maintenance worker and his terrible boss to kidnapper/ee in no time. Not to mention that they then go from that, to actual participants in a (very ill-advised) mutual relationship fairly soon after that.

3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Crazy Mila Kunis Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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NO, no one in the history of ever has come out the other end of a mopey vacation in love and happy. Stop it.

4. She’s All That

She's All That Your Eyes

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This movie is responsible for all subsequent movie creators believing that a romance could possibly come out of a short-term bet. SIX WEEKS, this one was. That’s only one and a half periods.

5. The Breakfast Club

Breakfast Club Kiss

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I get that they all bonded in a way that no detention students ever have before and that Claire was rich as hell and blah blah blah. BUT we can all agree that giving Bender her not-cubic-zirconia-but-real-deal-diamond earring is over the top and extreme, right? Was it love? WAS IT?

6. Pretty Woman

Pretty Woman Laugh

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Just as a refresher, Edward initially hires Vivian for a single, solitary week. Do you know what I get done in one week? Laundry. That’s it.

7. The Spectacular Now

Spectacular Now Glad I Met You

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It only took Sutter and Aimee a handful of weeks to do all of the following: fall in love, have sex for the first time, and decide to go to prom together. Wooooh.

8. Love Actually

Love Actually

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Every single love that blossomed in this movie is a sham because it began taking place one month before Christmas and ended on — you guessed it— Christmas.

9. Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise Diner

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These two spent exactly one day together and formed a bond so intimate that you’d think they’d have gone on to have a long-lasting marriage. Oh wait, they did.

10. The Proposal 

The Proposal Marry Me

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Margaret and Andrew go from boss and employee who hates her to engaged couple in a short five or so minutes. Riveting stuff.

11. Knocked Up

Knocked Up Force You

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Alison gets pregnant from a one-night stand, decides to keep her brand new fetus, and forces herself to fall in love with the gross Ben. Isn’t everyone glad that abortion is just a myth?

12. Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Linings Playbook Opened Up

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Neither Pat nor Tiffany could wait to start letting their deepest, darkest demons spill out in front of the other person. It’s sort of an extreme version of the piece of advice, “be yourself from the beginning of a relationship.”

13. Her

Her Dancing

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I’d wager to say that it’s always “too quick” when you’re talking about falling in love with a computer. But this time in particular, because I’m 99% sure that he was sold the second that Scarlett Johansson started speaking to him all seductive-like.

You can reach this post's author, Olivia Wilson, on twitter.
Share This Post:
  • Alana Vincenza

    I can’t even manage to do my laundry in a week, so there’s not hope for finding love in a week.

    • Sara Steinfeld

      #truelife

    • Kate

      Don’t even ask me how long it takes me to put away my clean laundry…it’s not a week

    • A. Montgomery

      Then let’s all share in our joyed procrastination that is vacation-unpacking. Amirite?

    • Olivia Wilson

      Funny story: I just live out of my suitcase (hairbrushes and all) until it’s emptied. My mom’s always talked so smack about my packing habits.

    • A. Montgomery

      My logic is that at least all my crap is in one place. It’s either gonna be in pileS (plural) on the floor, or in a semi-folded heap WITHIN my luggage. On my floor.

    • Kate

      OH MY GOSH it honestly takes me weeks to unpack. I’m so happy to know I’m not alone

    • Olivia Wilson

      I sleep on mine. I’m a garbage human.

    • A. Montgomery

      …or under, if it’s just outta the dryer.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      …been sleeping in mine since Monday. IT’S FRIDAY.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Gotta get down on Friday.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Maybe you’ll find love that one time a year you DO do laundry? It’ll be your meet-cute.

  • Sara Steinfeld

    I can’t even talk about “Her”. I was live-tweeting the Oscars back in February and the majority of them were angry tweets about the fact that “Her” was even a thing. Also about Joaquin Phoenix is a thing, because I find that equally disturbing sometimes.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Omg, I thank the stars for you, Sara, because I felt like such a peon who didn’t ~appreciate life’s finer elements~ when I gave that movie a bad review…

      …but now we’re both peons.

    • Sara Steinfeld

      this is literally all I’ve ever wanted.

  • realest

    you evidently haven’t seen a Bollywood movie. Hollywood’s fast relationships are what happen in one song in the films over in Bollywood.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Bollywood’s tagline should be: Hollywood but, like, way more intense.

  • Alexis Rhiannon

    Walk Of Shame was a great example, too! They have a one night stand, she sneaks out BEFORE MORNING, and the next time they see each other, she defers to his decision when she gets an amazing job offer. It’s the weirdest thing.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Maybe their one night stand was like a Groundhog’s Day experience, where it felt much longer than it was because it just kept repeating. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Hollywood script to write.

  • Vera

    But… but… that’s part of why I like romcoms.

    • Olivia Wilson

      It’s ENTIRELY why I like romcoms. But they still need to be called out on their crap, ya know?

  • http://danica-joshifer.tumblr.com/ Danica

    How come JLaw and Chris Martin are not in the list?!… oh, wait!
    Also, that’s why I love When Harry Met Sally <3

    • Olivia Wilson

      Hahaha, I see what you did there.

  • http://wtfihaveakid.blogspot.ca/ jendra_berri

    Love Story. Hate that damn movie. Two people with no chemistry fall in love immediately and never say sorry. Then death. The end.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Wait, I’ve never seen that. But it sounds like I will agree with you, ugh.

  • Abenaa

    Mostly I agree with this, but I will say that “Before Sunrise” is not completely unrealistic. Just unlikely. My boyfriend and I met one night at a bar, had an amazing conversation that lasted all night, and we are still together going on 4 years next month. So yeah, definitely not common, but not completely unreal.

    • Olivia Wilson

      Aww, that’s very sweet. I’d say this is the exception to the rule. But a nice exception :)

  • pinkdragon1986

    Doesn’t seem that odd to me… I met my fiancée online, after 2 days we met and stayed up all night just talking… And then I basically never left, we moved in together after a matter of days and after a year got engaged….. Getting married next month

    • Olivia Wilson

      Ooh, that’s exciting! Congrats!