Hey guys, can we talk aboutÂ Chris PineÂ and do a little bit of drooling together? Yes?!! Eww?!! Wonderful! I mean, there’s nothing to be ashamed of here. Everyone knows Chris is undeniably infectious, even Ellen DeGeneresÂ couldn’t resist his charm.Â But more often than not, Chris doesn’t always get the fame and publicity as his more-famous fellow Hollywood peers. So in the spirit of reminding you how much of aÂ talented actor he is, let’s rundown some roles he so rightfully should have been offered.
Oh, and since it’s Chris’ 34th birthday todayÂ and because he obviously has one of the most attractively scruffy faces you’ve ever seen and wanted to have touch and kiss and breathe upon your entire being, I figured it’d only be right to get the point across with a few of his photos that will melt your panties and everything else you planned on wearing today.
1. Christian Grey fromÂ Fifty Shades Of GreyÂ (replacing Jamie Dornan)
(Vittorio Celotto/Getty Images)
Maybe he’s just too tasteful for a role like Christian Grey but if we were to do a face-by-face comparison, it would simply be unfair to Dornan. And telling just by this photo, Chris looks way more stern and potentially insane than Dornan ever does. Either way,Â if Mr. Grey had a face like this, I would practically be living in his Red Room of Pain every night.
2. Noah Calhoun fromÂ The Notebook (replacingÂ Ryan Gosling)
(Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)
Say what you want, but I think had Chris been given a shot at the leading role in one of Nicholas Sparks’Â most iconic books, he and Rachel McAdams would have had a pack of gorgeous babies with even more adorable eyes. I mean, Chris just has thoseÂ panty-commanding blue eyes. And yes, panty-commanding blue is a real color.
3. Jay Gatsby fromÂ The Great GatsbyÂ (replacing Leonardo DiCaprio)
(Marianna Massey/Getty Images)
I don’t know how we allowed this to even happen, you guys. Casting Leonardo as one of literature’s most hubris and handsome bachelorsÂ made for more than just an awkward moment, but a series of ugly ones too. Chris would’ve been far more fitting for the role. Just look at how much a snazzy dresser he is, and know picture how snazzier he’d look without the pants, and shirt and undershirt and… do you see where I am getting at?
4. James Bond from Skyfall (replacing Daniel Craig)
I’ll be the first to admit that Daniel is pretty damn hot for his age bracket. But he’s practically pushing senior citizen status in comparison to Chris, who, from his work in Jack Ryan, proves he can pull stunts off just as well. So Mr. Bond, before we jump off this really high skyscraper, could you just brush your beard against my face before we fake-die, please?!!
5. Hal Jordan from The Green Lantern (replacing Ryan Reynolds)
(Sean Gallup/Getty Images)
I shouldn’t even have to explain myself with this one because I think the same rules apply as from #2 because I think Blake Lively and Chris would’ve exhibited a far more “believable” chemistry (and marriage) than she and Ryan. Chris also has that superhero smirk-smile that would have totally made well for the role of Green Lantern, which was foolishly given to Ryan.