• Mon, Aug 25 - 3:01 pm ET

Here’s Why Beyonce Should’ve Announced Her Divorce At The VMAs

Beyonce feminist sign at VMAs 2014 GIFAs Beyonce is a goddess beyond compare, I don’t often find myself in the position of telling her what to do, but the woman missed a golden opportunity to announce her divorce at the MTV Video Music Awards last night.

Sure, there hasn’t been any confirmation from the Knowles-Carter camp that there’s any problem between Beyonce and Jay Z, but hear me out, guys, because I’ve given this a lot of thought. Enough so that I was pretty sure it was going to happen, beforehand. If Bey and Jay are truly separating soon, as I believe they are, here’s why last night would have been the perfect time to drop that bomb:

She’s done it before. 

At the 2011 VMAs, Beyonce announced her pregnancy with Blue Ivy by exposing her belly onstage during a performance, so that seems to be a favored venue of hers.

She could have changed the lyrics to a song.

…and never had to make an official announcement. All you have to do is work the word ‘divorce’ into a song that used to just be about a for in the road, and all of a sudden you’ve leaked the news yourself. I was seriously listening so carefully, because the entire first half of her montage was slow songs, and I was positive she’d sneak something in there that only a true-blue fan would notice, just like she’s done in the past.

 

It would eclipse last years’ performance.

…in a way that nothing else really could. Because as you probably recall, last year we were treated to the visage of Miley Cyrus grinding her everything up against the crotch of happily-married Robin Thicke, so once we saw that, there was really nothing that could surprise us. Aside from Beyonce announcing the end of her six-year marriage.

It was Beyonce’s moment.

After all, she was getting the Vanguard Award and coming off a thirteen-minute performance, so audience goodwill was at an all-time high. Unless your last name was Kardashian or Jenner, in which case you were probably busy texting. But for everyone else, their hearts were beating to the tune of Beyonce, and you could have told them whatever you wanted and they would have risen to your defense.

And Jay Z and Blue Ivy were there.

It was the perfect set-up: Beyonce performed by herself, but her husband and child were there to support her for the potential announcement at the end; standing beside her in solidarity, just like the spouses of cheating politicians always do. They could have made it work.

They wouldn’t have gotten a traditional news cycle out of it.

Since there were two award shows right in a row — the VMAs on a Sunday night and the Emmys on a Monday, tonight — any bombs that were dropped in the last fifteen minutes of a Sunday night broadcast would really only have gotten twenty-four hours of uninterrupted screen time before the Emmys took over. I’m not saying they’d be out of the headlines completely, but there was a ready-made distraction just waiting in the wings.

(Image: Tumblr)

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  • Samantha Escobar

    I think the last reason is especially potent here; there’s no way it would’ve had the round-the-clock obsessive reporting that most celeb divorces do because (A) journalists and blogs will required to cover the Emmys tomorrow no matter who is getting divorced and (B) I have this inkling that something very, very buzz-worthy will happen tomorrow night considering how dull last night was.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Do you mean tonight? BECAUSE DEM EMMYS IS TONIGHT.

    • Samantha Escobar

      Ugh I did, I’M STILL ON YESTERDAY BRAIN.

  • Alyssa

    it was my DREAM that the performance would end with her walking up to the camera and throwing her rings behind her. So mad.

  • B

    I just don’t understand why complete strangers are hoping for a little girls parent’s to get divorced and do it publicly on live tv! So she can watch the traumatic moment over and over as she grows up. There is no reason to think they are separating unless they DO. If you base all your opinions on the world on what the media and online articles tell you then you must be all messed up. Grown adults wishing divorce and sadness on a family… I can’t imagine wanting so much pain and hurt for people I don’t know let alone my worst enemy. More positivity would go a long way.

  • janey

    “… a for in the road?”

  • rasci