Katie Holmes Moved Back To California For Her Career — So Cute She Thinks She Still Has One

Katie Holmes it's not who you are underneath it's what you do that defines you GIFKatie Holmes has been living in New York City ever since her divorce from Tom Cruise, but now she’s ready to pack it up and move back to California for her, um…career. So precious that she thinks she still has one.

(To be fair, she also thinks it’s a better place than NYC to raise her daughter Suri, which is hilarious because Suri has been a kitten heel-wearing adult from the moment she was born. She needs no raising, regardless of the location.)

But as for the career part — girl, I admire your optimism, but let’s get real here for a second. You haven’t starred in a recognizable movie in years at this point. Sure, you’re in The Giver, but that project lost its credibility as soon as it cast Taylor Swift in an acting role, and you lost yours the moment you started letting her set you up on dates. Really the last big project Katie was in was Batman Begins back in 2005, but her character was played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the sequel, so it’s really more of a negative than a positive, since being replaced in a franchise is about the clearest possible message from Hollywood that you’re free to move about the cabin. Do whatever you want. Don’t call us, we won’t call you.

But TMZ claims that Katie is returning to the mother ship anyway, picking up a home in Calabasas for $3,795,000 in The Oaks, a fancy neighborhood where Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian live as well. It was apparently a super secret deal, and the reason we haven’t heard about it before is that it came with a confidentiality agreement that hit anyone who leaked details with a $1 million penalty.

So Katie is all set up in the home now (RIP casually-disheveled photo shoots in Whole Foods!), and I’m getting pretty clear images already of Suri rolling her eyes as she helps her mom eagerly run lines, asking her — and be honest! — if she can still pass for twenty-five.

(Image: wifflegif)

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    • Sara Steinfeld

      Posing in a denim-on-denim out for Glamour does not a legitimate celebrity make, Katie.

    • Jenni

      For a few minutes there, I thought Suri was going to be okay, being raised in NYC and all. But now….not so much.

      • Elizabeth Aspen

        NYC and all of the East Coast is a cesspool of roaches, rudeness, and filth. I’d give my right and left arms to afford to move West again.

      • Alexander III

        L.A. is a dump.

      • Korine

        All of the East Coast? I’ve never seen a roach in my life, for one. And calling an entire region a cesspool of filth is one of the rudest things you can say. I do hope you raise the money to leave because I doubt you’re the ray of sunshine you think you are.

      • Emily A.

        Word. I am a bit freaked out by NYC, but see it as far superior to the weirdness of Kalabasas in the place-to-raise-a-kid rankings.

    • https://soundcloud.com/kirsten-ascio Kirsten

      LOL my favorite part: “Katie is returning to the mother ship anyway, picking up a home in Calabasas for $3,795,000 in The Oaks, a fancy neighborhood where Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian live as well.”