Gwyneth Paltrow Is Cool With Chris Martin Dating J.Law, Because ‘He Could Do Worse’

Gwyneth Paltrow shrug

The saga of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” just gets weirder and weirder by the day. Besides Gwyneth reportedly dating a guy she was rumored to be having an affair with, and then nominating Chris for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, there’s that whole “Chris dating Jennifer Lawrence” rumor. As if that wasn’t making us scratch our heads enough, now Us Weekly claims to know what Gwyneth’s thoughts about the situation are. And they’re just so… Gwyneth.

According to a source, Gwyneth is totally cool with the situation. Obviously. Gwynnie is just such a chill person.

“Her take is, ‘Hey, he could do worse,’” the pal says of Paltrow’s feelings about fellow blonde Oscar winner Lawrence, 24, dating her ex. “She just wants him to be happy.”

Anyone else imagining Gwyneth saying “he could do worse” through gritted teeth while she stress-eats quinoa? That’s just such an “I’m actually not fine with this situation, but I want you to think I’m fine with it, so I’ll just say something that’s obviously true but vague so it won’t feel like I’m lying” way to approach the situation. Because saying “he could do worse” about Jennifer Lawrence is probably the biggest understatement of the year. And I heard someone last week say, “Justin Bieber is kind of a douche.” So there was some tough competition for that title.

Because yes, obviously Chris Martin could do worse than dating a beautiful 24-year-old Oscar-winner who’s one of the most in-demand, talked-about, well-liked celebrities in existence at the moment and who probably allows him to eat a damn cheeseburger — or a giraffe — if he wants to. It’s okay, Gwyneth. Dating the guy who co-created one of the most annoying shows on television is super cool, too.

Of course, none of this, from Martin Lawrence being canon to Gwyneth feeling this way about it, is actually confirmed yet. I’m still expecting to wake up from a fever dream any minute now, only to realize that all of this was in my mind. But until then, I guess I’ll just embrace the weirdness.

(GIF: Tumblr)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • Alexis Rhiannon

      She WOULD stress-eat quinoa. Too fatty for non-cheat days.

    • Tpce

      This whole Goopy-Martin-JLaw thing is so fun. I don’t know what to believe, until I see actual proof of Chris and Jen together I will continue to believe its not true but I SO WANT it to be true. Because if its true and Goopy said “he could do worse” that is such a Goopy thing to say, she is so entitled and Chris by being with Jen is finally putting Goopy in check.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        I just want you to know that I approve wholeheartedly of officially replacing Gwyneth’s name with “Goopy.”

    • Sile

      Holy shit, that “through gritted teeth while stress eating quinoa” line was hilarious!. It caused me to spew coffee all over my keyboard, but it was worth it. Honestly, I still don’t believe that Jennifer Lawrence are really dating….and even if they are, I just don’t see it being serious or lasting beyond the summer. How the hell do I know, but gut feeling.

      • Sile

        I meant to write *I still don’t believe that Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are dating*. See how much I don’t believe it?…LOL!.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Haha, thank you! I hope your keyboard is okay.

    • nikki753

      If he is dating J.Law, I feel like it’s that thing were the kid with the most controlling, uptight parents went to college and flunked the first year because he was literally and figuratively drunk with the freedom. Drinking, laughing, being silly, running around without a schedule, not reading a single label on anything, eating stuff just because it’s effing delicious… Guy probably feels like you do when you’ve been stuck in shapewear all day and finally take it off. Freeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!!!!!

      • jo

        She’s like “what should we eat tonight?” and he’s like “HAMBURGER, fucking HAMBURGER. With fries.”

    • kim rice

      Hear is Jen first marriage that wont
      last a year. LOL. They met on the 2 of July in London Where they both
      stayed together till Jen went to the Dior show sporting a new tattoo on
      her hand the letters M and J probably meant Martin and Lawrence. She
      will be living in Chris’s new Malibu mansion by the sea soon enough.
      Well she moved on quick nothing authenticate about fake Jennifer but
      people worship the ground at her feat. I am sure her parents are super
      proud of their delinquent child and her sex life thats probably why they did
      that Kentucky magazine cover in July with Jennifer’s Oscar, PR for the
      families public image.

      • Holly

        Are parents supposed to feel pride concerning their adult child’s sex life? Also, Lawrence doesn’t start with a J.