The saga of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” just gets weirder and weirder by the day. Besides Gwyneth reportedly dating a guy she was rumored to be having an affair with, and then nominating Chris for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, there’s that whole “Chris dating Jennifer Lawrence” rumor. As if that wasn’t making us scratch our heads enough, now Us Weekly claims to know what Gwyneth’s thoughts about the situation are. And they’re just so… Gwyneth.
According to a source, Gwyneth is totally cool with the situation. Obviously. Gwynnie is just such a chill person.
“Her take is, ‘Hey, he could do worse,’” the pal says of Paltrow’s feelings about fellow blonde Oscar winner Lawrence, 24, dating her ex. “She just wants him to be happy.”
Anyone else imagining Gwyneth saying “he could do worse” through gritted teeth while she stress-eats quinoa? That’s just such an “I’m actually not fine with this situation, but I want you to think I’m fine with it, so I’ll just say something that’s obviously true but vague so it won’t feel like I’m lying” way to approach the situation. Because saying “he could do worse” about Jennifer Lawrence is probably the biggest understatement of the year. And I heard someone last week say, “Justin Bieber is kind of a douche.” So there was some tough competition for that title.
Because yes, obviously Chris Martin could do worse than dating a beautiful 24-year-old Oscar-winner who’s one of the most in-demand, talked-about, well-liked celebrities in existence at the moment and who probably allows him to eat a damn cheeseburger — or a giraffe — if he wants to. It’s okay, Gwyneth. Dating the guy who co-created one of the most annoying shows on television is super cool, too.
Of course, none of this, from Martin Lawrence being canon to Gwyneth feeling this way about it, is actually confirmed yet. I’m still expecting to wake up from a fever dream any minute now, only to realize that all of this was in my mind. But until then, I guess I’ll just embrace the weirdness.