• Wed, Aug 20 - 3:45 pm ET

Let’s Hope Jinger Duggar’s A Fast Runner, Because This Is Prime Time For Her To Escape

jinger duggar rolling eyes

Look, I know. You’re on total Duggar overload right now. Jill Duggar’s pregnant, Jessa Duggar’s engaged and Jambalaya Duggar just got braces. Just kidding. Braces are for non-believers. Keep your mouth as tight as your legs and your teeth will straighten themselves out. Or so Michelle Duggar once whispered to me over the phone. Or was that about transgender people being child predators? Who can keep track these days!

No really, who can keep track these days? This family’s so busy rumpelstiltskining their daughters’ uteruses into gold that no one can possibly keep track of all them. Which means that it’s prime time for Jinger Duggar to make a run for it. Also to change her name to Ginger. Or Katie. Or  Topanga. Really anything that follows the commonly accepted rules of pronunciation.

Why Jinger instead of Jana, Johannah and JadenSmith? Well she’s always been the one Duggar daughter who didn’t seem impressed with her family. While her sisters spent their childhood dreaming of the day they could turn their uteruses into day care centers, she spent hers dreaming of a life in the big city. Give or take a few words I put in her mouth after watching this interview two years ago.  Or even just the fact that she’s the only Duggar daughter who went huntin’ with the boys in camo while the rest of the gals knit embryo sweaters.

But seriously, everyone who’s anyone in the 19 Kids and Counting hate-watching community knows Jinger wants out. Just look at this Google search for “Jinger Duggar wants:”

jinger duggar wants to escape

Or just the fact there’s a whole website called FreeJinger.org. I don’t see FreeJason.com or FreeJanis.com. And yes, before you even ask, Janis is a real Duggar. She just has horrible hair and therefore spends her time curled up in a damp corner in the basement asking God why he has forsaken her. At least according to the Duggar screenplay I’m writing in my head right now.

So Jinger, if you’re reading this, ruuuuunnn. Also pat yourself on the back for reading. That has nothing to do with child bearing, so it’s pretty brave of you to do it.

(GIF: Tumblr)

Share This Post:
  • A_Nicole

    #freejinger

  • amp

    She can come live with me and raise my crotchfruit I will even allow her to date, wear pants and pay her more then she gets paid now for her caregiving.

    • Jenni

      You’re asking to be struck by lightning with that kind of modern talk.

    • Olivia Wilson

      I’m only calling children crotchfruit from now until forever.

  • Coco

    I wanna name my first born Jambalaya now.

    • ABC

      ME TOO, I’m crying.

  • Lady Pool

    She should take JoylessAnna with her before she gets promoted to “big girl” and she has to take on Jessa and Jill’s chores.

    • Jenni

      Poor JoylessAnna….stuck in the middle…and to add insult to injury, stuck with two names like Jim Bob

    • wispy

      JoylessAnna is the most perfect name. She always looks so royally PISSED. Not that I can blame her.

  • Taryn

    She can come live with me in Toronto!! I’d teach her the ways of a young 20 something :D

  • lunalore

    Jinger has always been my favorite, and one of the only Duggar kids I can actually remember by name. Oh, and then Josh, because he’s the oldest, got married first, and plus he moved to DC recently – I live inside the Beltway in Northern Virginia, about 20 minutes from downtown – and he got a bunch of local press. (No, I was not happy he came because of the whole working for a hate-spewing conservative think tank.) Anyways, yeah, Jinger, you are way too awesome and fierce for such a scary ass cult family!

  • Julie T

    Too funny.

  • Leah

    Run, Jinger, run! We’re looking for a nanny, she can live with us. We’d pay her and give her time off and I only have three kids. It will be like a full time vacation for her.

  • Leah

    Jinger used to be the most rebellious,but lately she seems to be the as indoctrinated as the others. Free Josiah or Joyanna! Yeah,I spend way to much time on Free Jinger.

    • Kam

      I’m still rooting for Free Jana! That poor girl looks so miserable all the time.

      Whenever I think about “freeing” one of the Duggars, I imagine a bunch of Free Jinger members, dressed in camo, rolling up to the compound in a windowless van. Then everyone runs into the TTH and opens the metaphorical cage and the Duggars all run out like wild animals.

  • mon_a

    I think Jinger has been pretty much silenced since her whole, “city would be awesome!” comment. Notice how she’s gotten more complacent? J-Bob and Michelle caught on to the revolution she inspired and quickly kiboshed the whole thing. Even last year Michelle spoke on “Jinger’s behalf” that she never meant a big city like New York, only a city with a Wal-Mart in a 15 minute radius. We are still waiting on Jinger Duggar to confirm these statements.

  • Kerri Campo

    I’ll take her put her in some pants, high heals, and buy her a beer on her 21st birthday.