Guys, I just barely figured out that Guardians of the Galaxy is something that we’re supposed to be obsessed with, and now there’s already something new. What is Ant-Man and what is Paul Rudd doing in it?
I’ll answer my own question, because I’ve done a little research into this, but I’m gonna need you guys to help me fill in the rest. Basically it’s a Marvel superhero movie that’s just starting up production in San Francisco, and the reason we’re talking about it now is because the first still was released today. In the comics, the original Ant-Man is Henry ‘Hank’ Pym (played by Michael Douglas), a scientist who discovers a way to shrink himself down to ant size to solve mysteries. And his helmet controls ants, so presumably he rides them around? I don’t know, my brain is too full of Honey I Shrunk The Kids to properly process this.
Paul plays Scott Lang, a shady dude with a criminal past who reforms in order to take up the mantel of Ant-Man…and apparently he has a van? Here, let me let USA Today give you a little synopsis, because I’m too befuddled for my own good:
Lang is an ex-con and thief who finds a mentor figure in Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), a genius scientist and inventor of a technology that allows a man to shrink down to the size of an insect but also increase his strength. When powerful forces — including Pym’s star employee Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), aka Yellowjacket — want the secret to the breakthroughs for their own nefarious uses, Pym passes the mantle — and helmeted supersuit — of Ant-Man to Lang and the two men plan an ambitious heist that if successful will save the world.
Oh hey, that sounds awesome! And I get to see it right away, right? Nope! This movie doesn’t come out until July 17th, 2015…so that’s plenty of time for you guys to explain to me why I should be excited it. Because Paul Rudd as a tiny superhero? I should probably be excited about that, right?