9 Times Taylor Swift’s Bangs Needed To Pull It The Eff Together

taylor swift 22 music video wearing glasses eatingHey, Taylor Swift, can you put your bangs on the phone for a minute? Because I need to talk to them about getting in the way of our relationship.

I’m at this weird place now where I actually like you…and it’s new and it’s scary, and GODDAMNIT YOUR BANGS ARE TRYING TO RUIN IT. After years of Taylor really not being my cup of tea, I finally came around to the fact that she’s either:

A. Working with a stellar PR team.
B. Growing on me.
C. Growing into herself.
D. Not that bad.
E. All of the above.

I’m thinking at this point it’s probably E, but every time I open up an article on her and get ready to marvel at her incredible fashion sense or heart-warming dedication to her fans, I’m like WHOA HEY BANGS GET OUTTA HERE GO HOME. Seriously, it’s been pretty distracting of late, and it’s starting to intrude on the genuinely lovely rapport that I have with Taylor. (Inside my own head.)

Don’t believe me? Right this way, for a picture-by-picture look at the times that Taylor’s bangs needed to pull it the eff together.

1. At the Teen Choice Awards.

taylor swift teen choice awards hair

 (Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)

Not only have Taylor’s bangs taken control of (and effectively vanished) her eyebrows here, but they’ve also steered this haircut dangerously close to a mullet. Is that what you want, bangs?? IS IT?!?!!

2. In the East Village after the gym.

Taylor Swift In East Village With Fan

(Photo: Alberto Reyes / WENN.com)

TAYLOR. Don’t you think it’s irresponsible to have your bangs so near to a child when they’re out of control like that? Haven’t you ever heard that bangs are the pitbulls of the face??

3. While visiting Jimmy Fallon.

Girl, the bottom part looks good, but those bangs are wearing your face like a tulip skirt. The whole point of a side bang is that it chooses one side to swoop on, so why aren’t you making it choose a side?

4. Leaving the gym again.

Taylor Swift In Hat And Tank Top

(Photo: TNYF / WENN.com)

Seriously?? Am I the only one seeing this? She tried to contain them with a hat, but now her bangs are slithering out the side and down her face like a hair-snake! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

5. In the park.

Taylor Swift Walking Checkered Dress Bangs

 (Photo: TNYF / WENN.com)

TAYLOR ARE YOU IN THERE I CAN BARELY SEE YOU! And look how fluttery and wispy her hair is in this photo! It’s as if the bangs are peacocking, in hopes of luring a mate.

6. Leaving the gym again (always).

Taylor Swift In Grey Looking Off

(Photo: RGK / PacificCoastNews)


7. Doing press for The Giver.

Taylor Swift Doing Press For The Giver(Photo: Michael Loccisano / Getty Images)

The bangs seem to have Become Aware and are trying to blend in with the longer hair on the side. I see you bangs, and I am not afraid.

8. On Instagram.

The Bangs just trying out new textures, because that’s something they can do now.

9. While visiting Seth Meyers.

Now they’ve turned to full-on mockery, because you can’t just start your bangs that far over on your head Taylor, you just CAN’T. It isn’t done!!!

This has been a public safety announcement, I hope we’re all leaving here a little better informed.

Share This Post:
    • Samantha Escobar

      Somebody call CPS because TSwift’s bangs are about to eat that child.

      • stacysherrera

        Barbara explained I’m alarmed that anybody can make $5862 in a few weeks on the
        computer . learn the facts here now











    • avalon

      Alexis you know im her biggest supporter but those bangs have a mind of ther own and lately those bangs are totally unruly. She better be careful Merideth & Olivia might think her bangs are a scratching post on Mommys head. Hopefully she is just growing them out for some new dew she’ll debut at the VMAs.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        They’re taking over! How can they be stopped???

    • wispy

      As someone with bang probs since the beginning of time I can relate to Tay. The humidity does not help my problem, nor does my five head. When it’s been raining they like to curl up and out and I look like I have horns framing my face. There is no end to their madness. #theycantbetamed

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I have them too! And experience the same problems!

    • Jen Pires

      LOL the captions on these are killing me

    • Sethie

      I like her bangs in practically every picture. You guys be super bored to write stuff like this x’D

    • Alyssa

      If your bangs can’t be tamed, don’t have them! I learned this rule and I shall never ever cut mine again.

    • April Berry

      There are only like 2 photos that I don’t like her hair in – the rest I think she looks great. Unless your hair looks like a Victoria Secret Model, please don’t write about other people.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Oh no, I have to quit my job! (Which is writing about other people.)

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