Last night Taylor Swift visited The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon so she could annoy me with how good her hair looks. And also so she could tell what is perhaps the most Taylor Swift story to ever exist. No celebrity story has ever been more worthy of the response, “OF FREAKIN’ COURSE.” It has to do with a scar Taylor has on her leg. Never has Taylor been more of a caricature of herself than she is when she’s telling this story.
While tough guys compare scars and talk about the fights they had or the motorcycle accidents they were in or the time they battled a sharknado, etc., Taylor’s scar story isn’t quite as badass. It’s exactly the kind of scar story you’d make up for her in a funny fanfic, without actually believing she’d ever have it in real life. No, she didn’t trip running after a boy or burn herself while taking a tray of cookies out of the oven or get scratched by her cat or stab herself with a knitting needle or get a splinter from her guitar or cut herself on a broken jam jar. Those are all excellent guesses, though. Nope, Taylor got this scar from a crafting accident. Specifically involving a glue gun.
Apparently when she was a kid, Taylor enjoyed making castles out of popsicle sticks, as young Taylor Swifts are wont to do. Once, while crafting a particularly elaborate slide, she got a little carried away with her super industrial strength hot glue gun and ended up with some glue on her leg. Which she then peeled off, along with her skin. If aliens ever come to Earth and ask me what the hell a Taylor Swift is, I’m going to immediately show them this video.