Britney Spears Worked Out So Hard That She Photoshopped Herself Two-Dimensional

Britney Spears cringing X Factor GIF(via)

You gotta hand it to Britney Spears‘ team, they simply will not admit defeat in Battle Abs. Even though Britney clearly has better things to do than get back to the chiseled six pack of her late teens, they just keep finding new ways to fake it.

For their first attempt, they allegedly just painted them onto Britney for her Vegas show, something that audience members were quick to call out. Her team issued denials, but it’s hard to argue with photographs, y’know? We’re all human beings in the world, and we know what paint on a belly looks like.

So now, after dealing with the backlash from that particular debacle, it seems like we’ve selected an entirely new strategy to portray Brit as a skinny Minnie again — Photoshop! Britney posted a photo to her Instagram from a shoot with Jeff Lipsky, and the girl is just…flat as a pancake. And not just her abs, her entire body.

The caption is ‘Amazing amazing shoot with @jefflipsky today! Been working hard this summer! So ready to bring it for the next round of #PieceOfMe shows next week’, but COME ON. There’s no way you were working out so hard that you completely deflated your entire body. Just look at that two-dimensional queen! What happened to her boobs? What happened to her face?? Where did she go and how long has she been sucking in? Can she slip under doors? How serious is this?

For all this effort, you may be wondering why they don’t just let her wear a top that covers her entire torso, but that is apparently Not An Option. Just like it’s Not An Option to give this lady any time off from her career to recover or get her life back or spend some time with the family members who don’t currently have a conservatorship over her. So just her kids then, I guess? I hope they like cardboard cutouts, because that seems to be what they’re working with now.

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    • Alana Vincenza

      She looks like her old self AKA this is so fake. Brit Brit, give up the game girl!

    • M_G

      So….just following her PR team’s logic here….the first photo portrays “totally real and not at all fake sprayed-on” abs, and the second photo shows off all the hard work she’s been doing this summer….to lose the abs completely in favor of a svelte, flat stomach devoid of the muscle tone she had a few months ago (which was, again, completely 100% realer than real). Well….that makes PERFECT sense to me. Alexis, why are you trying to cause trouble for Britney?

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Hahaha I know, I’m such a rabble-rouser.

      • fantasymother

        I’ll have you know the rabble has been roused. A dozen dairy cows are picketing around my house, mooing unintelligible demands because I can’t speak cow.

    • kylie

      If she holds her breath any longer, her head might explode.
      (just a joke, I love her music)

    • eberfyne

      Calm down, Alexis. Sheesh.

    • Kate

      In her defense, this is a picture taken of another picture displayed on a monitor which doesn’t allow for a lot of dimension. And she’s clearly sucking in her stomach (AS WE ALL WOULD/DO). But if it was really Photoshopped, I feel like they would have trimmed down her inner thighs (not that they needed to but…just…Hollywood). Her track record is shady though so the criticism is understandable. Either way, she looks incredible after what she’s gone through over the last decade in my opinion.

      • falcongirl

        I was thinking the same thing about her thighs. And then I felt like a monster for even thinking that. But really, someone give that poor girl a rest! She earned, like, a gazillion bucks before she was 30. Can’t she just go relax on a private island somewhere?

      • Nbl

        No because her handlers need to get paid.

    • Nbl

      Her entire right side is completely blurred. So are her thighs.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      I remember when Mariah did the paint-the-abs thing during the ‘Charmbracelet’ days. It was so fake it was funny.

    • Juniper Nibiru

      wow. what a cow

    • Benjamin

      So let me get this straight – a 2D picture of a 2D picture looks 2D, and we’re expected to find this shocking.

    • PaintingChef

      I think I’m more concerned that they appear to have photoshopped a new face onto her head…

    • rynoth25

      She was so much more interesting when she was shaving her head and declaring to be the anti-christ.