Joe Jonas and his girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler have split up, which means a few things for us. For one, it means we no longer have an excuse to make Arrested Development-themed ‘egg’ or ‘bland’ jokes…but for another, it means that we might finally see this rumored sex tape.
(As a side note, today is big for breakups, huh? First Ariana Grande and Jai Brooks and now Joe and Mayonegg too? [Last one, I promise.] What’s the world coming to?)
You remember the sex tape rumors, right? They first broke about a year and a half ago, when a tape was supposedly being shopped around by Blanda herself, who was allegedly set to receive a cut of the profits. The video was supposed to hit the internet on April 3rd, 2013, but it never did. The story was pulled by the original source, but they never issued an apology or a correction or anything, so the rest of us were left with a mystery.
A mystery that has now been reopened, as a break-up in any relationship pretty much means it’s anyone’s game. If a sex tape does exist, and Blanda was holding onto it out of loyalty to Joe and/or his family or something, she wouldn’t have much incentive to keep doing that post-split, right? And again, I have no proof of any of this, I’m just thinking out loud here.
The two of them had been dating since December 2012, with talk of marriage even on the table there for a little bit, but according to a statement issued by Joe’s rep, the break up is both mutual and amicable. The Hollywood double whammy.
“Joe and Blanda have mutually decided to part ways. The split was amicable and the two remain friends, with great respect for one another.”
With maturity like that, it doesn’t sound like great odds of us seeing this alleged sex tape, if it even exists, but feel free to join me in crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.