Last night Dame Helen Mirren, also known as Dame Fabulous or Dame I-Want-To-Be-Just-Like-You-When-I-Grow-Up, visited The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon. One of the topics of discussion was the time she met Queen Elizabeth II, the actual Queen of England, whom she happened to win an Oscar for playing. Oh, what a lovely meeting that must have been! I’m sure they got along splendidly and Dame Helen was oh so polite and respectful. Right? Wait a minute, what’s happening in that photo of the two of them?
Of course Jimmy had the photo handy so he could ask what in the name of tea and crumpets is happening. As you can see, Dame Helen is in the middle of saying something, and her finger is pointed at Her Majesty in rather scolding fashion. What could possibly be happening? Well, the answer that Dame Helen gives to that is that she simply can’t remember. Oh sure, a likely story. At least she admits what it does indeed look like — that she’s giving the Queen of England a good and proper scolding. And thankfully she puts on a funny high-pitched voice to recreate the scene for us.
Since Dame Helen says she doesn’t remember the true story, and the one she comes up with for fun is just too delightful to pass up, I’m just going to pretend it’s the truth. Who cares if Her Majesty appears to be smiling in the photo? We’ll just pretend she’s doing so to cover up her embarrassment. Yes, that’s it. You heard it here first. Helen Mirren scolded the Queen of England, according to what my mind wants to believe based on a misleading photograph and a funny talk-show story. I would have totally made that the headline for the whole post, but it was a bit too long.