Chris Pratt has been busy winning the world over with his charm, good looks, and slightly questionable anecdotes on his promotional tour for Guardians of the Galaxy. But two people who are probably not so into Chris right now are Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber, because they were just simultaneously dissed by Chris on the radio. But how did that come about, you ask? The way that most things do, of course: after a quick rap session!
Chris was demonstrating that he doesn’t only like to listen to “all that jumping and wiggling; the white people dance shit” (???) and that he also has an impeccable knowledge of Dr. Dre’s “Forgot About Dre”. Very swiftly, that conversation turned into dinosaur talk and, before Chris knew it, they were full-blown celebrity gossiping about the Bieber vs Bloom Fight Heard ‘Round The World. It’s how we all had our first celebrity gossip sesh as lads and lasses. Oh, to be young again.
And, in a move proving that Chris doesn’t give a damn about PR, he said that the little shit (my words, not his) ought to be embarrassed that he was punched by Orlando, of all people. That’s right, a double-diss, ladies and gentlemen.
“Ahh, how embarrassing to get punched by Orlando Bloom. Like, of all of the people you could get punched by, it’s Orlando Bloom? Oh, no! I would rather get farted on by David Hasselhoff than punched [by Orlando].”
Yikesss. Orlando was just doing God’s work when he threw that punch, Chris! How did he also become a laughing stock? Is it just by association, like when you commit a crime? Once you’re put into the same sentence as Bieber, you are automatically placed directly at the butt of the joke? As if anyone needed any more reason to want Justin gone indefinitely!