How Is Overboard Considered A Rom-Com And Not A Psychological Kidnapping Thriller?

Dean Annie Overboard pretending to have sex

(via)

Overboard is my favorite rom-com of all time. It’s also the most disturbing. While it took me several years to recognize this, I’m now unable to see it any other way. Sure I still enjoy watching it (every single time it’s on TV), but I’m now watching it like the psychological kidnapping thriller that it was meant to be. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Great, because I wrote  approximately 10000 words to explain it in detail to you.

So the movie kicks off with Joanna (Goldie Hawn) lounging around on a yacht and ordering servants around. It’s clear right away that we’re supposed to hate her. Because good, kind people don’t lounge around on yachts. They work on them! That’s right, we also meet her future kidnapper/husband/savior/lady-spirt-breaker Dean (Kurt Russell) in the opening scenes. We know he’s one of the good guys because he’s a grown man who wears his overalls half-down. How can a guy too simple to put on overalls correctly be anything but a blessing in (sweaty) disguise.

Joanna hires him to build a very specific kind of shoe rack for him in her yacht suite. Something that looks nicer than 99.8% of American houses. Naturally Dean messes up (again, he’s simple) and Joanna responds by refusing to pay him. Also by throwing all his tools in the water. Good riddance sweaty carpenter Dean….And hello sociopathic kidnapper Dean.

overboard shoe rack dean joanna

(via)

Fast forward to later that night (or week…or year…who knows how time works with these people) and Joanna falls overboard in the middle of the night. She hits her head on what I can only presume is a sharp dolphin and washes up on shore with amnesia. The kind of amnesia that seems to only exist in movies. Even though she can’t remember who she is or where she’s from, she remembers to act like an entitled bitch when she’s in the hospital. Naturally the local hokey-pokey news runs a story on her that’s all “does this she-devil belong to you?” Her husband Grant sees this and even goes as far as to the hospital to get her. Then he remembers that he fucking hates her and leaves her to rot in her straight jacket. Luckily for her, Dean also sees this news report. Unluckily for her, Dean also hates her. But rather than leave her there, he tells the hospital that she’s his wife. Because the hospital also hates her (see a theme here?), they release her after Dean pinky swears he’s telling the truth.

He brings her home to his hovel — and I assure you, calling it a hovel is putting it nicely — and introduces her to his their four wretched sons. Yep, that’s right. Dean is a single dad. It’s unclear when his wife died and/or who killed her. (*cough* definitely Dean *cough*) Even though Joanna feels like something is very wrong this set-up, she has no choice but to go along with it. Because when a man who calls himself your husband picks you up from the hospital and says, “sugarplum, your name is Annie, your my wife and these are our children,” you roll with it. Even when he dumps you in the water bin for disobeying him and even when he pretends like he wants to drunkenly sex you to freak you out.

Share This Post:
    • Olivia Wilson

      I think that it’s a crime that your dialogue wasn’t actually featured in the movie.

      • Jenni

        The real crime is that my dialogue isn’t too far off.

      • irmaagregg

        til I looked at the receipt which had said $7907 , I
        accept that my friend was like actualey receiving money in their spare time at
        there computar. . there moms best frend haz done this for only about 1 year and
        as of now repayed the mortgage on there cottage and purchased a great Alfa
        Romeo . visit homepage J­a­m­2­0­.­C­O­M­

    • Lily Savage

      You just made me see Overboard in a whole new light

    • Mockingjay

      It’s so funny, I never really understood the plot until I saw the summary Kelly Oxford did on her instagram and I actually caught it on TV a couple of days later. What a weird movie and it must have been even weirder to pitch to actors and studios. I wondering how they signed on.

      • Jenni

        Yeah, it would never have worked without Goldie/Kurt since they had legit chemistry. I know a few years back they wanted to do it with J.Lo and it was ripe for disaster.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I am speechless. I need to see this movie immediately.

    • Cassandra Hough

      Off-Topic-But-I-Can’t-Help-Myself: “Annie… GOOLAHEE?”

      • Jenni

        Never off topic

    • Charmless

      Could you please, please do one of these for Weird Science? That movie is really messed up once you realize what’s actually going on (spoiler: what’s actually going on is a lot of statutory rape by a sex slave).

      • Jenni

        I’ve actually never seen it, but if it’s on Netflix, I’M ON IT!

    • gesundheit

      I can’t wait till they make another romantic comedy about Stockholm Syndrome. I mean I guess the Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler amnesia movie was in the same vein but this was really was textbook. And I loved every second. Especially her white bathing suit with the asburdly high-cut thigh holes.
      But next time the genders need to be reversed.

      • Jenni

        Oh I covered 50 First Dates awhile ago because the ending is the stuff that horror movies are made of. Waking up every single day and having to remember you have a child, a husband and live on a boat in the freezing cold.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      OH my god that photo.

    • C

      Why is it that no matter how many people&websites point out to me how horrible this plot is, (and, I mean, I already eventually figured that out myself) I can’t stop loving the movie?

    • J

      This review is everything.

    • Pingback: Rom-Com Relationships That Get Serious Way Too Quickly