Guys, we need to talk about Jimmy Fallon. Last night on The Tonight Show he had Heidi Klum as a guest, and they participated in a segment titled “This is How We Roll.” It basically involved them forming a human wheel and rolling around together on a mat. I hate to be the one to suggest this, but it’s becoming more and more obvious that Jimmy’s using “hosting a talk show” as an excuse to touch and/or look up the skirts of hot ladies.
I know, I know. How dare I? But just think about it. This appears to only be the second time Jimmy’s done this segment on the show. Last time it was with Halle Berry, another very attractive woman. Both Heidi and Halle were wearing dresses during the segments. And both times Jimmy was like, “Don’t worry, everybody, I’m definitely not looking up her skirt.” The talk show host doth protest too much, maybe? All I’m saying is that Jimmy has never done this activity with either a man or a woman wearing pants. If this happens a third time, you guys are really going to have to start taking this conspiracy theory seriously.
What conspiracy theory, you ask? Just that Jimmy Fallon auditioned for SNL years ago in the specific hope that he would one day become a talk show host who could get close to hot celebrity ladies while using work as an excuse. If you still don’t believe me, look no further than the game he played with Jessica Alba earlier this year that involved them sharing a sweater. It’s a brilliant plan, but he should at least do something like this with Brad Pitt once just so people don’t get too suspicious. Of course, then I suppose they might get suspicious of something else. Didn’t really think this through, did you, Jimmy? I’m onto you.