Beyonce Responds To Breakup Rumors On Instagram, And Methinks She Doth Protest Too Much

If you get your news like a normal person, you’ve heard the extremely pervasive rumors that Beyonce and Jay Z are headed for divorce. But if all you’re looking at is Beyonce’s Instagram, you’re probably thinking it’s all sunshine and rainbows! Which is honestly just as suspicious.

I refused to accept the rumors at first myself, but once I saw the video of Beyonce’s sister Solange attacking Jay in that elevator earlier this year, it got my brain turning about how there’s plenty about this couple that we don’t know. Follow that up with the news that Beyonce got her ‘IV’ wedding tattoo removed and was rumored to be searching for a new apartment sans Jay, and all of a sudden I’m sold.

And so is the rest of the internet! There’s talk of Bey and Jay’s impending divorce on pretty much every site out there, but the couple has not yet deigned to address it directly. Instead, Beyonce has just been innocently flooding her feed with photos of Jay and Blue Ivy and sometimes the whole family just having a really great, loving time. Like this one, for example, which she captioned ‘my favorite hue is JayZ Blue’.

So cute right! I love it! I wanna gaze at it all — WAIT. I see you, Beyonce. I see what you’re up to, and you almost had me! But not today!!!

And you know why? Because this isn’t the first time you’ve tried to erase our brains with your photos! After the Solange scandal broke, the Carter-Knowles family waited four full days before releasing their statement. But in the meantime, Beyonce did her best to clear the air by posting about ten photos in a row of her and her sister, even as Solange was doing the opposite. Just to prove that nothing was up with them. Uh huh. Right.

I don’t know what’s going on, or when it’s gonna happen — although my money’s on late in the afternoon or evening on a Summer Friday, when the least amount of people are at their computers — but it’s gonna take more than a few happy family pictures on social media to convince me that things aren’t about to blow the eff up.

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